SEXISM THRIVING IN THE SEXIST MEDIA

The Women's Media Center has put out a great video and it is wonderful to watch and listen to all the media guys who think they are not sexist, while being flagrantly sexist. One sound bite is Chris Matthews insisting that the reason Hillary Clinton is a Senator is because her husband 'messed around'. That is not only an insult to this woman who is so far brighter and superior to him in every way, but it is an insult to the NY voters who intelligently voted her in, and then voted her in for another term (when her husband wasn't messing around).

One, intellectually challenged, speaking about Hillary, who by now must be post menopausal, spoke of 'besides the PMS and mood swings'.... Male menopause comes when the skull sucks up hair, letting it come through ears, nose, eyebrows, as 'manhood' weakens elsewhere. Someone should remind these men that there is also a male climacteric and they are in it! They may joke about women's mood swings but fail to see themselves as they become crabby, opinionated, grumpy old men and their butt drops off. (I have yet to see a man over 60 who hasn't lost the curve he used to have behind him, below his waist....or has it now moved up to between his shoulders?) These men remind me of the joke in which the mother is telling her daughter that an older man is like a Christmas tree. The daughter looks confused and asks how that can be. Mother replies, "Well, like the Christmas tree, he is dead at the root and has balls only for decoration."

The church began to push women to the side when one of the old priests decided Mary Magdellan was a prostitute. He spread the word and made it stick (sounds like he was a Karl Rove ancestor). Women were eventually pushed out of the church management as neatly as Bush got rid of the Constitution and job description of the President. I recall spending an Easter in Greece and being taken to a church service in which all women stood on one side of the church while all men sat on the other!

Wait until more women unite and the sisterhood becomes less like sibling rivalry. Then we'll see how these peacocks we refer to as 'men in the media' quack and quickly let their tail feathers down. When this voting period is over, we will be as clear about the poor judgment of our acquaintances and neighbors as we became by those who voted for Bush and were unable to see through him during his perpetual motion campaign for eight years in office. So we will recognize all the women who are so insecure and trodden on by being women that they quickly ran to a handsome man who promised hope. Rather than risk voting for someone who might be as weak as they feel themselves, the sheep followed the Shepherd. What a pity that the Phyllis Schlaflys seem to be a majority still....those who cower around men, the Stepford wives of today. Sadly, the plumbing may make men physically stronger in majority but brains trump it all. Hopefully women will some day learn that they really are equal, not just hope that men will come to believe it. They will also learn that equality does not mean Unisex bathrooms but equality of opportunity...equal pay for equal work and proper respect shown for achievement, not ridicule as we have seen shown Hillary Clinton through this campaign. Luckily for us we believe Barack Obama is a good candidate and that the Democratic party has not been ripped asunder as the self-proclaimed pundits would hope to convince us

The Psychology Department published an ambivalency test you can take. Try it if you care or dare.

MORE RANDOM THOUGHTS

While checking something out on Google, I found that peripheral instructions were in Greek, though basic messages were in English. Αποτελέσματα 1 - 10 από περίπου 42.200.000 για online privacy people should. (0,2 δευτερόλεπτα) ) While I can read and understand Greek, I could not figure out how it got there. It only happened when I checked out a referral on the blog. It made me realize how much of my life is spent tracking down things that I want to understand. Curiosity is a time-expenditure curse.

While checking out many entries connected with this search, which seemed to focus on ‘privacy policy on the Internet’, I was struck by the number of posts that told us what we SHOULD be doing, which (being a psychotherapist for so many years) I usually file in the useless information category. People, in my long experience with them, do not do, or feel, what they should do but only that which makes sense to them. Some of the ‘shoulds’ were: why people should not drink and drive; why people should not date on the Internet, why people should give up drinking coffee, people should spend more money in retirement, why fat people should not bungee jump, stupid people should be shock collared and corralled T-shirt, people should smile more, and so many more. It asks questions like: how often should people e-mail? Should you judge people by what they look like? Should you earn your MBA online? Should you trust your computer? Don’t you think stupid people should be sterilized? If you have nothing better to do with your life, you can even read some of the sillier ones.

People who say ‘should’ are often the same people who think that a problem is solved if blame can be put on someone or something. If something is wrong or not working right, they think a law passed will correct it. Laws do not change people’s desires or actions. Too many people do what they want to do and see no reason not to do so as long as they are not caught. Moreover, we have few checks and balances working anywhere today. Our government seems to think the FDA, FCC, FBI and all the rest of the f-ing agencies are not necessary. In practice, our governments treats all citizens like not-too-bright children. For all we know, lots of them really are just that,regardless of age, though the half do mature and are intelligient. We all know children need adult supervision and structure. People blithely run red lights, steal anything that is not solidly secured (and sometimes even when it is). Businesses cheat customers constantly. Google Verizon complaints and you will see: Results 1 - 10 of about 391,000 for Verizon complaints. (0.22 seconds) Google Verizon poor business practices and Personalized Results 1 - 10 of about 2,920,000 for Verizon poor business practices. (0.61 seconds) comes up.

Hospitals bill many unnecessary tests rather than allow their doctors to spend more than a few minutes with each patient. Their billings are so vague to the consumer that there is no way to know if charges are proper. That seems to be a big business trick. If a utility has two million customers and each is incorrectly billed an additionally penny, few people will spend time to fight for that penny. However, the utility has just made an unearned $20,000.

Many years ago, a teen ager came to my office and said there are only 35 more shoplifting days until Christmas. I asked if she stole from her best friends. She raised herself into a shocked attitude and told me, “Of course not! I only steal from stores, not people!” It was totally beyond her comprehension that stealing from stores is, in fact, indirectly stealing from your friends because they will be charged in the price of whatever they buy to make up the losses. To the average person, anonymity makes it easier to steal. They see no victim. To the sociopath, anonymity is not a requirement. That is why there are books written about corporate executives so often being sociopaths. It is easy to make their inhumane decisions to add to company profit when it doesn’t pain them to realize that people are being hurt by their decisions, in what non-sociopaths see as unconscionable behavior.

It amuses me to hear John McCain making an issue of Obama never having served in Armed Forces when McCain can support a war started, unnecessarily, by a group of men (and a woman) who had never served I’m upset by the smirk on his face as he insults the intelligence of the American people. It is the same visceral reaction I had when George W. Bush was pandering to people he thought wanted to hear his promises. He later demonstrated that it was all to get elected and he meant nothing of what he said.

Today, we who are professionals and call ourselves middle class, who had been feeling quite successful and fulfilled with our lives, consider ourselves something less than that. I feel as though I am caught up in the struggle between good and evil without Frodo. Obama does not seem a real life Aragon, though Viggo Mortensen might be a nice consolation. Will Barack Obama be our Harry Potter and eventually succeed in ridding the world of the influence of George W. Bush and company…the USA’s current group version of Voldemort? Stay tuned.

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OLD MOVIES ON A RAINY DAY

Channel surfing on a rainy day, as I tried to catch up on some office paper work, I came upon a movie that didn't seem too difficult to figure the plot even though I clearly had come into the middle of something, so I stayed to the end. I was right, it was not too deep or complex to put the plot together. The movie was released in 1933 so was delightful in the morals of the day.

Plot summary from IMDB: Mary Stevens (Kay Francis) and her old friend Don Andrews (Lyle Talbot) find themselves graduating from medical school at the same time. They decide to set up their respective medical offices in the same building. Mary builds her reputation despite many patients refusing to be treated by a woman. Don, however, begins dating Lois Cavanaugh (Thelma Todd), whose family is rich and influential, and neglects his practice for the privileges of a social life. Despite Mary's love for Don, he marries Lois and sets up a new office with a high class clientele. He also gives Mary a new office right next to his; while she ends up making a name for herself in the medical community, Don begins to pilfer funds from his practice. Jealousy and mistrust drive Mary and Don apart, seemingly for good. Two years go by and Mary, now a famous doctor, takes a much-needed vacation. While on vacation she runs into Don, who is now on the lam from the authorities. Mary and Don have an affair, and Don tries to get a divorce. Lois is willing but her father doesn't want the Cavanaugh name mixed up in any scandal. He clears Don's name and gets all charges against Don dropped, on the condition that Don will not divorce Lois for at least six months. When Mary finds herself pregnant with Don's child and Don unable to marry her, she must decide whether she should tell Don or raise the child on her own. Written by Stacia Kissick {srm12@ksu.edu}

From 1933 to today, gender bias seems unchanged in some professions. Notable, though, was the change in mores. Mary has a son, unbeknownst to the father of the child. As she travels with a nurse for the child, she is shown powdering the little boy with almost a full container of talcum powder sprinkled onto the entire front of that little body! Later on in the script, she is contemplating suicide. She is diverted from her plan by a hysterical father demanding that she save the life of his little one, who has swallowed a safety pin. As her oath to Hippocrates grabs her away from her own pain, she tries to get the pin out of the throat of the child but doesn't have the proper tool. Frustrated, she runs her hands through her hair and discovers she has a bobby pin with which she removes the safety pin from the child's throat, commenting no man would have come up with that idea!

As the movie ended, I could not help but realize that, while these actors and actresses were long since dead, the plot had not aged as much as they. Indeed, we now have no-fault divorce though falling in love with a married man has not become an extinct process. Women still have to fight harder and be better than men in many situations to prove themselves. While women are said to outnumber men in our society, they are often more apt to side with men than other women.

There is still a very long way to go!

THE 'PUNDITS' WON'T QUIT; THEY DON'T REALIZE THEY ARE NOT

pun·dit Pronunciation:\ˈpən-dət\

Function: noun Etymology: Hindi paṇḍit, from Sanskrit paṇḍita, from paṇḍita learned

Date: 16721 : pandit 2 : a learned man : teacher 3 : a person who gives opinions in an authoritative manner usually through the mass media : critic

More and more 'pundit' opinion floated through the air, authoritatively in tone but not with facts. Questions were asked such as "What do you think Hillary is thinking now?", struggling to put new interpretations to the obvious. The best of the evening was Terry McAuliffe on Jon Stewart. It is pitiful, as I've written before, that to get a sense of reality in the political world, one must go to a comedian who presents a more accurate picture than the journalists because he puts the facts right up there in front of your face instead of just replaying sound bites ad nauseum.

VERIZON COMPLAINTS

Searching on Google with a simple query for Verizon complaints, I got "Results 1 - 10 of about 386,000 for Verizon complaints. (0.22 seconds)" Since I believe in fairness, I thought I would compare this find with another company about which I have complaints, Microsoft. The results: "Personalized Results 1 - 10 of about 645,000 for Microsoft complaints. (0.22 seconds) "

Being less annoyed at the phone part of Verizon, I just asked for Verizon FIOS complaints. "Results 1 - 10 of about 40,900 for Verizon FIOS complaints. (0.20 seconds)" The phrase that came to my mind was, "Fifty million Frenchmen can't be wrong". Why then is nothing done about such flagrant abuse of consumers and such unethical business practices?

It is ironic that AT&T, progeny of the Bells, was broken up as a monopoly only to have a few years pass to develop new monopolies. While we have been giving the opportunity for Osama bin Laden to do is exactly what he said he would do...break the American economy...people seem to have forgotten that he had threatened this. Well, he has accomplished this and people seem unaware that he has no need to kill people with weapons or bombs, he is doing it far more effectively. Meanwhile, as though the majority of American lives weren't having a bad enough time, we must try to struggle out of the hole dug for us by the Iraq war. While political energy is focused on Iraq, those of us paying for it get little back for our tax money these days.

My monthly Verizon bill lists a section for Taxes, Fees and Other Charges. For voice: Federal Excise Tax, 19 cents; MA State and local tax, 40 cents; Federal Universal Service Fee, 73 cents; Federal Universal Fee-long distance, 71 cents; 911/Disability Access Fee (though I am not disabled), 75 cents; Federal Subscriber Line Charge, $6.44. For TV: License Fee, 11 cents; State Sales Tax, $1.25; PEG (Public Education Grant Fee, $4.79. Internet : State tax, 33 cents. The total for that category is $15.70 for this month. Since this bill is paid by money after the State and Federal income taxes have taken big bites fromt, it is quite amazing how much any money the average person holds briefly is whittled down by everyone who can get their hands on it!

WIDOWHOOD PONDERED

The first step for me, a few years ago, in accepting that I was a widow was the realization that, once again, I was going to have to re-write my life script. The current script suggested the rest of my life would be with my husband as my, more or less, full time companion. I found myself physically alone, for the first time in my life.

Living with someone, while it has many advantages, should never be viewed without disadvantages also present. For the first time I was really in charge of my own life. I could get up when my schedule permitted and go to bed the same. I could eat when I was hungry and whatever I wished, or even skip a meal. I didn’t have to pick up after anyone else. I was totally responsible for picking up after myself with no lectures about my habits.

Physical touch was at first a loss but since I am a tactile person, I have many friends and relatives, especially grandsons, who hug me often. I used to think I missed being loved and cherished by ‘my man’, but recently figured out that is not primarily what I miss in my life. More importantly to me is missing a competent man, physically stronger than I, who is intelligent and with whom I can share ideas and discussions; one who will give me ideas as well as accept some of my own. I miss having a brain (around most of the time) to pick, that lives with me; to give me a male perspective on life when I get caught up in feminine tunnel vision. I have to work to maintain the balance now when I felt surrounded by it before.

What I miss is clearly acknowledged but having learned that, “I’ve been there; done that” has me knowing that, while I may miss it, I might not be able to live with what I have wished for! There is no way any intimate emotional bond would be attractive again nor would I be happy ‘back on the farm, now that I’ve seen Paree’. I’m in the U.S. of A. where widows are not an oddity nor badly treated. My new script keeps removing stress from my relatively unencumbered life….or will my life ever be unencumbered? The law of averages works seems just the same whether I am connected to someone intimately, velcroed to someone, dependent on another, or think I am lonely. One wins some; loses some.

OPPORTUNISTS MOVE IN QUICKLY

The latest thefts of consequence are occurring for what was considered trash. Presumably, if something is put out in the yard as trash it can be taken by anyone. I don't understand that legal argument if there is not a sign saying "trash" or "take me. I am free" I thought that anything that is on your property is yours until you take it off your property...but one lawyer does not see it that was as he argues for his clients.

Is it desperation that breeds much crime, as I believe, or just that our citizens have totally deteriorated morality? I would wager that most want to work and be independent without fear of getting caught by the law or losing control of their freedoms.

The high price of gasoline has made the combination of used cooking oil and alcohol, a most desirable fuel for many around the country. The moral of the story seems to be that you must make every effort to protect your heirloom silver when a couple of brothers decide to make the price go up; your roof flashing and vents in copper when the metals market shifts; your gold jewelry when the price of gold hovers at $900 an ounce; and anything someone else may covet of yours because they just want it. Even though we are not living in a village in Africa where the host must give away whatever is being admired by, then to, the guest. In the US, the owner is not given the choice to follow hospitable custom as he may argue to keep his own property. Instead, it is just unconscionably taken from him rather than risk refusal.