YET ANOTHER USELESS SAYING

'I shouldn't have to tell you.' This is a totally useless statement as is its partner, 'I told you that before.'. Does it serve any purpose other than to express disappointment, frustration, anger? Why should it be uttered in the first place? Does one assume that a person asking a question just likes to frustrate you or hear the sound of your voice? Might they, in fact, have heard it before and forgotten it? And even if a person SHOULD, does that mean they are hiding what they know?

Trying to imagine a scene in which this might be said, if someone has just told a person some information, speedily, like some people run off telephone numbers when you least expect them, don't have a pencil and paper, and no longer remember more than 8 digits run off verbally with poor diction and great speed. Do newscasters ever announce early, enough for a person to get pencil and paper, that they are about to rattle off a phone number or URL? That has been rare in my experience.

What about a mentor who has been trying to help the learner understand something previously elusive to them? Is it the failing of the learner or mentor, or both, when an explanation fails to be remembered? Where does that 'should' come from? Does it imply , "You should remember everything I tell you and everything I utter." Yet that is inferred, is it not? Is it not pretty well researched that someone being scolded learns or retains less than the student who feels good and is emotionally comfortable himself.

As I have written before, we all say useless things. However, an awareness of some of the most frequently used ones may help us say what we really mean more clearly and cause less obfuscation in our attempts to state things as we wish them to be understood.

I chuckle as I think what might happen in court if an Officer has told the arrested, "You've seen enough cop stories on TV. I shouldn't have to read you your Miranda rights." Or if a parent says to a 2 year old standing on the edge of a cliff, "I shouldn't have to tell you again, if you fall you will be killed." While those may be ludicrous, extreme examples they are not too far off from what the same message may carry to many adults who are the recipients.
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