Friday, December 26, 2008

THE UNEXPECTED AT CHRISTMAS TIME

Thinking as I sit here in the warmth of my home the day after Christmas, I cannot help but deal with the knowledge of the more than many people this year who did not have their usual spirit, comfort, and festivities. The jobless, the homeless, merchants and so many others are hurting and, in fact, the whole world is hurting, pushed down that economic slippery slope by a totally incompetent USA administration.

In sympathy with all others in the world, I am also thinking that Christmas in my household was one with news few would want to hear at any time, least of all Christmas Eve. My daughter's boyfriend was killed, four hours away, when someone behind him skidded, pushing him, in his truck, into a skid that brought him to a head on collision with a semi-trailer. Since he had been unwilling to be confined by a safety belt, he was thrown from the cab of his truck, assuring death.

News of this reached us during a Christmas Eve party with family and friends . Suddenly our reality shifted. That he was a caring, thoughtful, wonderful man and would be missed by so many people whose lives he touched, is only a beginning of the ramifications when someone's death is the issue. The change of life script for loved ones, friends, and those for whom he was the 'rock' of their lives will only rewrite itself gradually.

There can only be helplessness felt, as death is so final. Since my knee had been operated on only a few hours before, I was not physically able to be helpful to anyone, frustrated that I was an added burden in the complicated situation of grief needing to be accepted as a final reality. Knowing that you are never alone in grief does not change the extent of it for anyone experiencing their personal reaction to that death. The only plus in that situation was the knowledge that we are part of a loving, tight family network, while so many others suffer alone. If I were ever given a single wish, it would be that no one should ever have to feel totally alone and unloved in this world.

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