TOLERANCE THRESHOLD

It is summer and I should be relaxed. All the things that didn't used to bother me seem to be tipping me over. My threshold couldn't be any lower and my whining about things moved a really good friend of mine to tell me I was a crotchety old lady. He was absolutely correct. That is exactly what I felt like when a bit of objectivity finally took hold.

Many of the things that have lowered my threshold might not bother others...especially those who do the things that grab me negatively. Thinking that people would have better hygiene in today's world, it shocks me that few carry a tissue or handkerchief, but will use their paper or cloth restaurant napkin, blow their nose in it, and set it down on the table.

Another push on my buttons comes for people who 'drop in' without calling. It is clear that one may not expect the standards of behavior one sets for one's self...but I still find it hard not to because I don't really consider my standards so high. My therapy practice is by appointment only. I know when to be dressed presentably and 'receiving'. The rest of the time, I expect to be left alone unless someone is considerate enough to ask if it is convenient to me if they drop in.

Let it be understood that when I say I'll be around all day, it does not mean that I will be appropriately dressed for company and watching the grass grow or waiting for someone to drop in assuming my boredom might appreciate a break. I have had friends whom I would never have expected to see, drop in to 'surprise' me. The surprise part was successful but the pleasure of the visit was lessened by it.

Why is it that many people treat dropping in to your home unexpectedly like others do when they phone and assume that, because you answered the phone, you are free to talk. If I am on the phone and get a call waiting beep, I excuse myself and come right back to the original caller. When the original caller informs me that they don't appreciate the interruption it annoys me that they don't make the connection that their unexpected call interrupted me in the first place. When someone is told you are on another line and ask if it is an emergency...which it rarely is...that you will call right back and then they say, "I only wanted to tell you, blah, blah, blah." They get annoyed because I tell them I will call them back as I don't keep people waiting. You can't win and I refuse to do away with call waiting. Thanks to whoever invented caller ID. I find that helpful, except for the two friends who keep themselves as private caller. I have come to assume such a call will be one of them and so far they are both people from whom I do not mind getting a call.