WHAT BUTTON DO YOU PRESS TO GRANT FORGIVENESS?

The meaning of forgive is not hard to grasp. Merriam-Webster writes: " for·give
Pronunciation: \fər-ˈgiv, fȯr-\Function: verb Inflected Form(s): for·gave \-ˈgāv\; for·giv·en \-ˈgi-vən\; for·giv·ing Etymology: Middle English, from Old English forgifan, from for- + gifan to give Date: before 12th century transitive verb 1 a : to give up resentment of or claim to requital for b : to grant relief from payment of 2 : to cease to feel resentment against (an offender) : pardon, forgive one's enemies>

Click here for encouraging Bible verses. The only thing missing here is 'a how-to-do-it' manual which the Bible does not provide.

Those who do not know how to put wrongs behind them, try to balance them with more hurt as: 'An eye for an eye; a tooth for a tooth'. This just perpetuates pain, does it not? Justice, other than to remove offenders from the general society with the hope that they will cease to cause pain, is none other than to gain an eye for an eye, etc. However, if the pain they caused is emotional or other than a violation of law, what use does revenge serve? For those who feel some power for being able to hurt back, ask is this real, useful power or are you just kidding yourself?

It seems to me that most of what people do when they are unable to 'forgive' is that they feel powerless and, just like those who think when they find who is at fault, it solves an issue, the powerless try to find some control of their feelings of having felt violated, used or abused.

For whatever it may say about me, I do not dwell on what I cannot change. What is done is done. However, I stay away from those who have hurt me and try to avoid situations in which I might be at their mercy ever again. Unfortunately I am missing the 'forgetting' gene, as well. It seems the only things I forget are things I want to remember.

There are, in fact, reasons one should not forget even if they can 'forgive'. This act of not forgetting helps builds defenses and protective coping skills. Just as there are differences between being paranoid (believing you will be mugged when there is no indication of such) or having paranoid defenses (being cautious when one recognizes similar signs of danger as might have existed before a trauma occurred).

There are those who believe that God will forgive sin but the law doesn't count on it and throws people in jail. This seems to be mostly the eye-for-an-eye rationale. Religions are pretty hypocritical when they say that God will forgive sin while telling people they will go to Hell if they sin or do not believe in God or Christ or Allah or whoever people have chosen to throw all responsibility to for their own helpless lives. Presumably Jesus Commanded Forgiveness : "Mark 11:25 ESV And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.” That anyone believes that feelings can be commanded from another never ceases to make me wonder at that naivety in today's modern world of knowledge that could not have existed when the Bible was written.