LONGING FOR HOME; COPING

There have been times when I have longed to be home but am away from it.

Away from home, habits and comforts are often difficult to sustain. When you are visiting a private home, the hostess makes you comfortable for the night (at least it seemed so when she said goodnight and left). Everyone seems asleep or busy from the sounds emanating from the 'warm' rooms while you begin to cool in your room that has just had the heat turned on after several months. Meanwhile you begin to chill. You, of course, don't know where the blankets are and do not feel comfortable looking in closets and drawers, having unsuccessfully checked every possible source in the room you have been given. I've piled pillows over me, put on my coat, and curled up in fetal position, teeth chattering, until I finally fell asleep, totally exhausted, wishing I were back home. All the while I wish I knew enough about the kitchen to go get something warm to drink! Note: Prepare yourself with snacks and warming liquids (especially if you are heading for teetotaling territory).

At home, I love sitting on the bathroom throne with a book of easy crossword puzzles and a pencil on my knee; not puzzles with all sorts of esoteric trivia, but just words, simple words. Forgetting that most people do not have a magazine rack in their bathrooms as I do, I have been trapped as a guest with nothing to read. That situation puts my body in neutral, unsuccessful in purpose, and wishing I was back home again rather than guilty for fiddling while Rome burned. (This happens in houses where there is only one bathroom and several people are standing in line waiting to come in as soon as the 'guest' is through). As I look at whatever labels I can find from my seated position, I can check under the sink for cleaning products. Even toothpaste boxes and toilet paper rolls have been temporary saviors.

It has taken me a long time to convince myself that multitasking is a necessity not an indulgence. I must keep many senses engaged simultaneously. I have never been able to study unless I also have some sounds in the background. I find the most relaxing are nature sounds and I particularly love a CD brought to me from the UK with Dawn sounds, birds calling their world to wake up. I find this suitable while I am working on the computer when watching TV. The nature sounds do not interfere with the music that gets played on the TV, especially during commercials. Others have been unable to tolerate the running water (checking out the plumbing) or looking out the window for the strange bird sounds. I only get a bit overloaded when someone sends me a .wmv to watch as I am going through the daily email. In those instances, in order to hear the .wmv clearly, I am sometimes forced to mute the TV. In someone else's house I used to go through computer withdrawal until I bought myself a wireless laptop.

Worse is when there is an empty roll where tissues once lived and there is no 'spare' in sight. Houses like this never have a box of facial tissues in the room, either. With great difficulty and caution, you search for something, anything you might reach that might do the job. Further detail will be omitted lest it trigger PTSD episodes.

While away from home I can only get webmail which works fine except when I want to save something. I subscribed to a free email program and mail my webmail to myself at another account which I can then retrieve when back home. As I ponder what is most difficult, I realize it usually is around food, taking it in or letting it out, and sleeping arrangements. It is understandable that people sometimes find their mattresses too uncomfortable for further use. So they throw them out? Sometimes not. They become guest beds!

When you feel alien and long to be back home in Indiana or Kansas or wherever you came from, it is time to click your heels together and repeat, "There's no place like home. There's no place like home."