REGRET VERSUS GUIILT

While guilt and regret are often seen as synonyms, they differ.  Guilt implies a wrongdoing or crime, committing an offense.  Regret simply implies that one would not choose the same course of action were the opportunity for it to be done or said again.

There are cultural implications to one feeling guilt or regret.  Jewish mothers, in anecdote, use forcing a feeling of guilt on their offspring as a manipulation for control.  The implications are that the child has done a wrong and is therefore a child lacking in goodness.  Greek mothers are said to treat their offspring differently, letting their children know they are disappointed that such a good child could have done such a naughty thing.  If you can imagine, growing up with this difference in parental handling has a very different result to the child's sense of self as an adult.  Guilt sees one growing up with an entrenched lack of self-worth in many areas.  Regret is more apt to result in over-confidence that one's actions are to be tolerated and forgiveness automatic.  Neither is ultimately a replacement for conversations about consequences to a child's actions, and when not discussed by parents does sincere injury to the adult who has not been taught to reflect on inevitable consequences to all behaviors.

Feeling is much more apt to allow one insomnia.  I tell people, "I don't do guilt".  When I lay my head on my pillow at night I usually feel neither guilt nor serious regret.  Even if I am not proud of all my words or actions, I know none were said or done with malice or intent to damage,