Monday, December 3, 2007

TOILET SEAT TREATISE

Toilet seats can make my life comfortable or decidedly uncomfortable. I've sat on wooden seats that were cracked and pinched in an area where only tender fingers should be felt . Cushioned seats, of plastic that ages. can harden and crack, edges sharp as razors. Split seats, while great for training little boys, can trap an overly obese person the seat and bowl.

Temperature may cause a little less physical pain but can be equally unpleasant. I've wondered whether a cold seat that can be anticipated in advance in a cold room is any better that falling into the bowl backwards when it is dark, you are sleepy trying not to wake up, and some inconsiderate male has left the toilet seat up in your bathroom.

While I love Jane Austen movies, I can't help but think of the era of commodes...bad even if there were servants to empty them, impossible to live with otherwise. Outhouses were not an improved invention. I suppose I should be grateful for modern, flushable blessings indoors, but all things being relative, I'd like a nice warm bathroom with a fabric seat that people will leave alone and go use one of the two other bathrooms in the house. Is that too much to ask for from Santa?

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