In attendance at my brother's funeral yesterday, held in a Greek Orthodox church, my mind still, yet the situation demanded inactivity. I looked around at the relatives I could see without attracting attention. I examined the icons, the look and feel of the church that had not changed throughout my lifetime. The priest went around shaking his incense holder making it difficult for me to breathe. Old reactions of repulsion at being expected to kiss the icons (pictures of the Madonna, or whomever, that everyone else was walking by and kissing which I could not bring myself to do), returned. I wondered how the really high candles were lit. I wondered if there were people whose livelihoods depending on new churches being built, so they could make the intricate stations for the priest and cantor. Four hours of a wake, the day before, had almost done me in. A repeat of much of the same service was an exercise in tedium to me. It lasted an hour, as I thought, "If there is a Heaven, hasn't he already gone there?"
Seven years ago, when my husband was dying, he asked to be cremated and I readily complied. No chanting, no promises of eternal life, no accusations of the sins which he apparently was expected to have committed in life to be washed away by death, no trying to picture him as 'asleep', not dead.
Next came a long parade of cars (many of them lost when the hearse buzzed away with no awareness of people missing the turn because he had already made it before they could see him. Those lucky enough to know where the meal was to be served met at the restaurant. The rest were hopelessly lost and out of touch. The graveside service, equally repetitious was slightly less tedious in the shortened version. The honor guard was nice, and taps played by a bugler on a natural rise behind us, was somehow oddly comforting and more closure to me than any of the religious services had been.
A traditional fish dinner was served to the 30 or more people who made it to the restaurant. My brother's widow held up beautifully, chatting warmly to all the people there (many of them who don't speak to one another from past injuries experienced). Awareness of the hostilities which arise from divorces, child support and other family issues, was not visible as the grandchildren talked to one another, seemingly oblivious to the tensions raging in the adults around them.
Faults of the deceased are forgotten and the idealization that seems required at these occasions sets in. Brother, you pass on your role as patriarch of the extended family. Life was long and death didn't take you by surprise. You will be missed by many people and in different ways by everyone. You take much family history with you. Rest in peace, my brother.
Friday, September 28, 2007
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
How does one know what to believe??
When will the world realize that a religion can be anything in our current world. In the past there were few explanations for what happens in life, how it happens, and why it happens. Religion was used to explain all this, made up by men, to fit their fantasies, delusions, or as ways to control people and achieve power over masses.
If one can establish a religion, it automatically becomes tax-free. This also spells great power. The Vatican has amassed enormous power through money, treasures, land ownership, and it constantly violates the American rule of not mixing church and state. Austin Cline writes: Churches, however, tend to benefit the most from the various tax exemptions available, in particular because they qualify for many of them automatically, whereas non-religious groups have to go through a more complicated application and approval process. Non-religious groups also have to be more accountable for where their money goes, while churches, in order to avoid possibly excessive entanglements between church and state, do not have to submit financial disclosure statements.
Robert Parry writes in the Reverend Moon and his Bush family connection. This self-proclaimed God-like creature has been in jail for tax evasion. That doesn't seem to matter. The Unification Church owns the Washington Times and is the biggest contributor to the Republican party. Where corruption begins and religion ends often baffles me.
If one can establish a religion, it automatically becomes tax-free. This also spells great power. The Vatican has amassed enormous power through money, treasures, land ownership, and it constantly violates the American rule of not mixing church and state. Austin Cline writes: Churches, however, tend to benefit the most from the various tax exemptions available, in particular because they qualify for many of them automatically, whereas non-religious groups have to go through a more complicated application and approval process. Non-religious groups also have to be more accountable for where their money goes, while churches, in order to avoid possibly excessive entanglements between church and state, do not have to submit financial disclosure statements.
Robert Parry writes in the Reverend Moon and his Bush family connection. This self-proclaimed God-like creature has been in jail for tax evasion. That doesn't seem to matter. The Unification Church owns the Washington Times and is the biggest contributor to the Republican party. Where corruption begins and religion ends often baffles me.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
How does religion help people?
When will the world realize that a religion can be anything in our current world. In the past there were few explanations for what happens in life, how it happens, and why it happens. Religion was used to explain all this, made up by men, to fit their fantasies, delusions, or as ways to control people and achieve power over masses.
If one can establish a religion, it automatically becomes tax-free. This also spells great power. The Vatican has amassed enormous power through money, treasures, and it constantly violates the American rule of not mixing church and state. Austin Cline writes: Churches, however, tend to benefit the most from the various tax exemptions available, in particular because they qualify for many of them automatically, whereas non-religious groups have to go through a more complicated application and approval process. Non-religious groups also have to be more accountable for where their money goes, while churches, in order to avoid possibly excessive entanglements between church and state, do not have to submit financial disclosure statements.
The Unification Church, owns the Washington Times.
If one can establish a religion, it automatically becomes tax-free. This also spells great power. The Vatican has amassed enormous power through money, treasures, and it constantly violates the American rule of not mixing church and state. Austin Cline writes: Churches, however, tend to benefit the most from the various tax exemptions available, in particular because they qualify for many of them automatically, whereas non-religious groups have to go through a more complicated application and approval process. Non-religious groups also have to be more accountable for where their money goes, while churches, in order to avoid possibly excessive entanglements between church and state, do not have to submit financial disclosure statements.
The Unification Church, owns the Washington Times.
| http://www.consortiumnews.com/archive/moon.html |
From petty local scams to international money-laundering, the Rev. Sun Myung Moon’s political/media/business/religious empire has all the looks of a global “ongoing criminal enterprise,” albeit one with enough powerful friends in Washington to protect it from serious consequences. Where does religion
...and then there were none
Families start with different configurations. Mine started with parents and their parents living with us, often visited for long periods by other relatives. My oldest brother was away at college and my next older brother and sister used me as a toy and terrorized me, the youngest.
At my age four, my uncle left when he was hospitalized; my grandfather left to stay with one of his daughters; he died two years later. I was an only child during the week while my sister and brother went to school, living with my oldest brother in a Boston apartment. He, in ROTC, was called into service in 1939. My older brother was in New Guinea by February 1942. He survived WW2 and came back to marry, and lived with us for a few months.
My next older brother graduated college and moved to another state while my sister went to work in Guam for a couple of years. As I write this, I realize how much I had been an only child for long periods.
My sibs and I lost my parents in 1986 and 1987. By then we were all in our own homes. It was a shocking realization that we were now at the top of the family heap in our nuclear families. I felt it was like a child's rhyme: "First there were six but now there are four." My oldest brother's death this week makes it: "Now we are three." As I have lived beyond so many other deaths (husbands, in-laws, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends) I realize it is inevitable that the count will go down. I cringe that it is like musical chairs to "and then there was one". I am four years younger than my next older sib. Will I be I left standing alone from my family of origin? How lonely it feels to think that...there will no longer be anyone with whom to share my childhood. How much will I remember of it? Does any of that matter since there was so much else of life to be remembered? I recall a line in a TV movie: "Without memory, you have never existed."
At my age four, my uncle left when he was hospitalized; my grandfather left to stay with one of his daughters; he died two years later. I was an only child during the week while my sister and brother went to school, living with my oldest brother in a Boston apartment. He, in ROTC, was called into service in 1939. My older brother was in New Guinea by February 1942. He survived WW2 and came back to marry, and lived with us for a few months.
My next older brother graduated college and moved to another state while my sister went to work in Guam for a couple of years. As I write this, I realize how much I had been an only child for long periods.
My sibs and I lost my parents in 1986 and 1987. By then we were all in our own homes. It was a shocking realization that we were now at the top of the family heap in our nuclear families. I felt it was like a child's rhyme: "First there were six but now there are four." My oldest brother's death this week makes it: "Now we are three." As I have lived beyond so many other deaths (husbands, in-laws, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends) I realize it is inevitable that the count will go down. I cringe that it is like musical chairs to "and then there was one". I am four years younger than my next older sib. Will I be I left standing alone from my family of origin? How lonely it feels to think that...there will no longer be anyone with whom to share my childhood. How much will I remember of it? Does any of that matter since there was so much else of life to be remembered? I recall a line in a TV movie: "Without memory, you have never existed."
Monday, September 24, 2007
Death and Taxes...the sure things
Last night my 18-years-older-than-I brother died, not unexpectedly, but anticipating death makes the finality of it no easier. It made me, once again, aware of how many lives one person touches as my other brother and I discussed whom we should call. My older brother leaves a widow; there are three sons and 3 grandsons who survive my brother. My role is minimal in planning. When my husband was dying, my older brother and his wife were shocked that we planned no burial, only a cremation and no religious service. 11 days after his death, we had a Celebration of(my husband's) Life in a local hotel, brunch was served and there were about 185 attendees (mostly by invitation) though some just showed up. It was a relaxed gathering, few tears, lovely reminiscences and lots of musician friends and family playing the music.
My brother and his wife are deeply religious and will have a wake, a funeral, a priest at both, and his burial plot is already there with the stone in place, ready with his name...only the date of death to be inscribed. I will cringe at all the waste of time, money, and most of all, the beautiful land that is being covered with stones. However, with respect to my brother and family, I will try to keep my thoughts to myself, believing that each of us has a right to choose faith, custom and corporal after-life.
After that, I will go on living my own life, getting older everyday, continuing to live with the best humor I can have, within and without.
My brother and his wife are deeply religious and will have a wake, a funeral, a priest at both, and his burial plot is already there with the stone in place, ready with his name...only the date of death to be inscribed. I will cringe at all the waste of time, money, and most of all, the beautiful land that is being covered with stones. However, with respect to my brother and family, I will try to keep my thoughts to myself, believing that each of us has a right to choose faith, custom and corporal after-life.
After that, I will go on living my own life, getting older everyday, continuing to live with the best humor I can have, within and without.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Our trigger happy people
Confusion and loss of credibility in our country now stems from a trigger happy administration. The 'fast draw' crew took us to Iraq. The problem is that while one can have the fastest draw, it does not predict nor control what the rest in the area will then do to you. It only worked in the Wild West when the enemy was one individual.
Peter Gelzinis of the Boston Herald has written an interesting account of the young woman at Logan Airport, an electrical engineering student, who wore a phony circuit board with LED lights on her shirt. The read poses what the result might have been.
The trigger happy threat is in religious institutions, as well. 'If you don't do it our way, funds will also be cut off for the good work you do'. Even churches want to dictate policies everywhere. There seems no end to the degree governments and religious organizations want power to prevent change and hold onto archaic and outdated precepts.
Here is an example of a man who studied and prepared, raising his odds against failure. A story of daring and skill in which the hand of God was not invoked. If some of our politicians had equal skill and judgment, would our world not be a better place?
Peter Gelzinis of the Boston Herald has written an interesting account of the young woman at Logan Airport, an electrical engineering student, who wore a phony circuit board with LED lights on her shirt. The read poses what the result might have been.
The trigger happy threat is in religious institutions, as well. 'If you don't do it our way, funds will also be cut off for the good work you do'. Even churches want to dictate policies everywhere. There seems no end to the degree governments and religious organizations want power to prevent change and hold onto archaic and outdated precepts.
Here is an example of a man who studied and prepared, raising his odds against failure. A story of daring and skill in which the hand of God was not invoked. If some of our politicians had equal skill and judgment, would our world not be a better place?
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