At last I find a kindred soul who can say all the things I think I have been saying for a long time...but he says them so articulately and tactfully!
Probably everyone is in one of the three categories, right? Oops, probably not so you would notice! It has always escaped me that so many6 people consider themselves Pro-Life but really mean they are pro-fertilized-ovum and no longer have interest after birth. Probably one with the least regard for life would be G W Bus, who for eight years allowed children to be conceived and born, only to have a very large per cent die before they reached their first birthday...long, painful, hungry short lives. I do not understand any religion in today's enlightened world that could allow this to happen...but it did.
Jeffrey Reel is no one I know or am apt to meet, judging from the paper in which he stated his views. However, he should have more people than are available in the small town in the Western part of the State hear his views. I wonder how long the hypocrites who call themselves Pro-Life, who 'talk the talk' but don't 'walk the walk' will be able to keep their blinders on and live in their world of denial.
Perhaps, one day being pro-life will include quality of life in that equation. I doubt I will live that long, sadly, to see it universally.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Friday, May 22, 2009
WHAT DOES MEMORIAL DAY MEAN TO YOU?
Memorial Day has never been a time for me to visit graves because I don't believe anyone lives there (no pun intended). This certainly does not preclude my thinking of all the people who have been lost to me and the world. Fortunately I went through World War 2 with no serious losses though my oldest brother had had his back broken by a bomb landing too close to the jeep he was in at the time. My first husband had been in the European Theater and had been shot in the leg behind and below his knee. PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) was not known then but the nightmares he suffered for so many years and his behavior would indicate that he experienced PTSD.
Many ex-servicemen did not die in the war but died later from cancer, most often from their continued use of alcohol and unfiltered cigarette smoking. So little was known then that we now know about what will kill you.
I guess the Poppy's worn started with WW 1 and Flanders Field...or is that Veteran's Day? To learn the origin of Memorial Day, click here. I can no longer keep track of holidays' meanings because they have mixed so many agendas. My grade school teachers wasted their time and mine forcing memorization of birth dates of important people because we now celebrate them on Mondays. Memorial Day this year will be on May 24th though it was traditionally on the 30th.
For we callous folk, it also means the day of the Indianapolis 500 race. It's a day off from work. It's a day to spend with your family...or to get away from your family (which ever you prefer). It's a day to work in the garden or not work at all. Your actions may have nothing to do with the memories you float through your head. But try though they may, I'll bet there are few on that day who don't spend some time remembering the people they have lost to the Grim Reaper, sometime and somewhere.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
ROMANCE NOVELS
Most women who choose to read romance novels are either doing it out of limited physical options or are totally falling for images on those pages. The women are always passionate in their responses because the men stir them up so that they are left panting and 'boneless' at the first kiss (which wouldn't exactly calm the sexual harassment cops today). The men are usually well endowed and I've never found a premature ejaculator nor the name Viagra in any of the too-many-books-to-mention that I have read in my dotage.
Men can hold back from their 'release' until the women have reached their peak (and passed it) several times. They delicately hold the throbbing woman until her shudders quiet, bring her to peak again and again, and when they are convinced she is sated, allow their own 'arousal' to take them to their 'release'. That is delightful pornography in text, allowing those who read the descriptions to form their own mental images. There are no dirty bare feet or long, greasy hair styles to spoil that image as there were in the first edition of the Joy of Sex. Regardless of the written description, all the men look handsome and virile to the reader though, if they were all to draw what they picture, I daresay they would look very different in each drawing.
The bar may not be the only thing raised by sexual expectations, but it is raised higher than that set by most of the couples I have treated in my many years as a therapist. When these books, great for sublimation and fantasy, are read it must make the average man and woman seem pretty dull by comparison, left to wonder how to get what they are clearly missing. The male version, more visual pornography, sets up totally different images...usually lacking the tenderness given the female by the male in the romance novel and more likely to expect activity most women find noxious rather than pleasurable. When partners' expectations are totally disparate, one hardly expects to see the relationship endure...and many of those I have seen definitely did not make it, especially if a man finds an extra-marital partner that slides willingly under the bar. Or, if a woman finds a man with more tasteful appetites and gentler goals.
Some of the writers, especially the most prolific ones, seem to have a sex scene template with four or five variations. It is easy to identify with these couplings, which certainly beat watching the news on TV in today's world, though the likelihood of ever in life experiencing what the written word describes is quite limited.
Nevertheless, the fact that romantic novels are such a booming industry suggests that they work for lots of people. Otherwise lonely lives who don't get the same consolation from pets, keep the book industry (new and used) busy even in our lowered economy.
George Gobel, at 50's comedian used to say, "Money does buy happiness. Stop on your way home and buy a fifth." I say, "Money does buy happiness (aka sublimation). Read a romance novel."
Men can hold back from their 'release' until the women have reached their peak (and passed it) several times. They delicately hold the throbbing woman until her shudders quiet, bring her to peak again and again, and when they are convinced she is sated, allow their own 'arousal' to take them to their 'release'. That is delightful pornography in text, allowing those who read the descriptions to form their own mental images. There are no dirty bare feet or long, greasy hair styles to spoil that image as there were in the first edition of the Joy of Sex. Regardless of the written description, all the men look handsome and virile to the reader though, if they were all to draw what they picture, I daresay they would look very different in each drawing.
The bar may not be the only thing raised by sexual expectations, but it is raised higher than that set by most of the couples I have treated in my many years as a therapist. When these books, great for sublimation and fantasy, are read it must make the average man and woman seem pretty dull by comparison, left to wonder how to get what they are clearly missing. The male version, more visual pornography, sets up totally different images...usually lacking the tenderness given the female by the male in the romance novel and more likely to expect activity most women find noxious rather than pleasurable. When partners' expectations are totally disparate, one hardly expects to see the relationship endure...and many of those I have seen definitely did not make it, especially if a man finds an extra-marital partner that slides willingly under the bar. Or, if a woman finds a man with more tasteful appetites and gentler goals.
Some of the writers, especially the most prolific ones, seem to have a sex scene template with four or five variations. It is easy to identify with these couplings, which certainly beat watching the news on TV in today's world, though the likelihood of ever in life experiencing what the written word describes is quite limited.
Nevertheless, the fact that romantic novels are such a booming industry suggests that they work for lots of people. Otherwise lonely lives who don't get the same consolation from pets, keep the book industry (new and used) busy even in our lowered economy.
George Gobel, at 50's comedian used to say, "Money does buy happiness. Stop on your way home and buy a fifth." I say, "Money does buy happiness (aka sublimation). Read a romance novel."
IF YOU MISSED 20/20 ON 5/17/09 ON AIG
Check this out.
The public still hasn't been told the entire story. Again, as I have written before, the public does not understand, for those who are not executives, a bonus is not a gift but salary earned. The bonus is on a par with tips for wait staff. The salary would never be a living wage. Neither Liddy nor the media, nor economists have ever made that point clear.
The public still hasn't been told the entire story. Again, as I have written before, the public does not understand, for those who are not executives, a bonus is not a gift but salary earned. The bonus is on a par with tips for wait staff. The salary would never be a living wage. Neither Liddy nor the media, nor economists have ever made that point clear.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
MEMORY TRIGGERS
Frightening is one word that comes to mind as I go through a stack of Greeting cards I found from 1989. Only 20 years ago and most of the senders are gone! A card from an aunt who died (when was it?...I can't keep track of deaths) and find that I date things to 'before or after' my parents and husband's deaths).
Fascinating are the cards just signed with a name, sometimes illegible since I apparently didn't save envelopes to tell me from whence they were sent. Some people sounded warm, some unemotional, as though they were signing a check. Some were signed with love and calligraphy; others are a history lesson by the letters they write. I chuckled at one couple who celebrated their faux fiftieth anniversary. With their fist and second marriages, that made the fifty years. They, too, have gone to wherever it is we go after this life....dust or otherwise. While, at the time, I was totally bored to learn what grades the kiddies were in and all about their childhood interests, knowing what has become of them twenty years later makes the previous boredom worth while. A baseline is always useful.
Fortunate am I that people my age were sending cards...most are gone now but I'm still here. Familiar signatures indelibly remain. Some cards made me sad, others were ho-hum. As I looked through this very large stack, the reason for which I saved them currently escapes me. What could I have been thinking? Then I remembered that I used to save pictures I liked and use them on Christmas gifts wrapped in colorful tissue, using rubber cement to stick the pictures on. Now, 20 years later, I don't need to wrap gifts because gift certificates come in envelopes. If I actually do buy a real gift with bulk, I put it in a bag amidst a bunch of scrunched up tissue...instant gratification Gone are those tedious hours of wrapping secretly (which the kids told me they usually found and unwrapped, carefully re-wrapping. Their surprised faces were those of the bride-to-be at her wedding shower.
Fervently I vow that now postage has gone up to $.44 a stamp, I will send very few cards. I stopped sending letters many years ago because I make it a point to stay regularly in touch with all my friends often, through phone, blog. Facebook and email so that an expensive redundancy is no longer an option. I regret the trees that were cut down for all these cards to be made and sent, but since it is a fait accomplis, into the trash they go to be quickly and totally forgotten...but it is not easily done for the givers. Most of them tramp around in my brain and will be there for my lifetime.
Fascinating are the cards just signed with a name, sometimes illegible since I apparently didn't save envelopes to tell me from whence they were sent. Some people sounded warm, some unemotional, as though they were signing a check. Some were signed with love and calligraphy; others are a history lesson by the letters they write. I chuckled at one couple who celebrated their faux fiftieth anniversary. With their fist and second marriages, that made the fifty years. They, too, have gone to wherever it is we go after this life....dust or otherwise. While, at the time, I was totally bored to learn what grades the kiddies were in and all about their childhood interests, knowing what has become of them twenty years later makes the previous boredom worth while. A baseline is always useful.
Fortunate am I that people my age were sending cards...most are gone now but I'm still here. Familiar signatures indelibly remain. Some cards made me sad, others were ho-hum. As I looked through this very large stack, the reason for which I saved them currently escapes me. What could I have been thinking? Then I remembered that I used to save pictures I liked and use them on Christmas gifts wrapped in colorful tissue, using rubber cement to stick the pictures on. Now, 20 years later, I don't need to wrap gifts because gift certificates come in envelopes. If I actually do buy a real gift with bulk, I put it in a bag amidst a bunch of scrunched up tissue...instant gratification Gone are those tedious hours of wrapping secretly (which the kids told me they usually found and unwrapped, carefully re-wrapping. Their surprised faces were those of the bride-to-be at her wedding shower.
Fervently I vow that now postage has gone up to $.44 a stamp, I will send very few cards. I stopped sending letters many years ago because I make it a point to stay regularly in touch with all my friends often, through phone, blog. Facebook and email so that an expensive redundancy is no longer an option. I regret the trees that were cut down for all these cards to be made and sent, but since it is a fait accomplis, into the trash they go to be quickly and totally forgotten...but it is not easily done for the givers. Most of them tramp around in my brain and will be there for my lifetime.
Monday, May 18, 2009
WHILE ON MY WAY TO A DIET.....
9 Weight Loss Secrets the Diet Industry Doesn't Want You to Know
By Brie Cadman, Divine Caroline. Posted May 11, 2009.
Even if you're not trying to lose weight, chances are you've seen some ideas on how to do so:
"Eat what you want and lose weight!"
"Lose thirty pounds in thirty days!"
"Finally, a diet that really works!"
"Lose one jean size every seven days!"
"Top three fat burners revealed"
"Ten minutes to a tighter tummy!"
But these claims are readily rebuked by anyone who's tried to lose five, ten, or one hundred pounds. Losing weight ain't that easy. It's not in a pill, it doesn't (usually) happen in thirty days, and judging from the myriad plans out there, there is no one diet that works for everyone.
Looking past the outrageous claims, there are a few hard truths the diet/food industry isn't going to tell you, but might just help you take a more realistic approach to sustained weight loss.
1. You have to exercise more than you think.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommends getting at least thirty minutes of moderate exercise most days of the week; this includes things like shoveling snow and gardening. And while this is great for improving heart health and staying active, research indicates that those looking to lose weight or maintain weight loss have to do more -- about twice as much.
For instance, members of the National Weight Control Registry (NWCR) -- a group of over 5,000 individuals who have lost an average of sixty-six pounds and kept it off for five and a half years -- exercise for about an hour, every day.
A study published in the July 28, 2008 issue of Archives of Internal Medicine supports this observational finding. The researchers enrolled 200 overweight and obese women on a diet and exercise regimen and followed them for two years. Compared with those that gained some of their weight back, the women who were able to sustain a weight loss of 10 percent of their initial weight for two years exercised consistently and regularly -- about 275 minutes a week, or fifty-five minutes of exercise at least five days a week.
In other words, things like taking the stairs, walking to the store, and gardening are great ways to boost activity level, but losing serious weight means exercising regularly for an hour or so. However, this doesn't mean you have to start running or kickboxing -- the most frequently reported form of activity in the NWCR group is walking.
2. A half-hour walk doesn't equal a brownie.
I remember going out to eat with some friends after a bike ride. Someone commented on how we deserved dessert because we had just spent the day exercising; in fact, we had taken a leisurely twenty-minute ride through the park. This probably burned the calories in a slice of our French bread, but definitely not those in the caramel fudge brownie dessert. Bummer.
And while it's easy to underestimate how many calories something has, it's also easy to overestimate how many calories we burn while exercising. Double bummer.
Even if you exercise a fair amount, it's not carte blanche to eat whatever you want. (Unless you exercise a ton, have the metabolism of a sixteen-year-old boy, and really can eat whatever you want). A report investigating the commonly-held beliefs about exercising, published in the Journal of the American Dietetic Association, concludes that although exercise does burn calories during and after exercise, for overweight persons, "excessive caloric expenditure has limited implications for substantially reducing body weight independent of nutritional modifications." In other words, to lose weight, you have to cut calories and increase exercise.
3. You have time to exercise.
If you have time to check email, watch a sitcom or two, surf the internet, have drinks/coffee/dinner with friends, go clothes shopping, and on and on, then you have time to exercise. Yes, sometimes you have to sacrifice sleep, TV, or leisure time to fit it in. Yes, sometimes you have to prioritize your exercise time over other things. But your health and the feeling you get after having worked out is well worth it.
4. Eating more of something won't help you lose weight.
The food industry is keen to latch onto weight loss research and spin it for their sales purposes. A prime example is the widespread claim that eating more dairy products will help you lose weight. However, a recent review of forty-nine clinical trials from 1966 to 2007 showed that "neither dairy nor calcium supplements helped people lose weight."
This idea -- that eating more of a certain type of product will help you lose weight -- is constantly regurgitated on supermarket shelves (think low-fat cake, low-carb crackers, high in whole grain cookies, and trans fat-free chips), but is in direct opposition to the basic idea behind weight loss -- that we have to eat less, not more.
By Brie Cadman, Divine Caroline. Posted May 11, 2009.
Even if you're not trying to lose weight, chances are you've seen some ideas on how to do so:
"Eat what you want and lose weight!"
"Lose thirty pounds in thirty days!"
"Finally, a diet that really works!"
"Lose one jean size every seven days!"
"Top three fat burners revealed"
"Ten minutes to a tighter tummy!"
But these claims are readily rebuked by anyone who's tried to lose five, ten, or one hundred pounds. Losing weight ain't that easy. It's not in a pill, it doesn't (usually) happen in thirty days, and judging from the myriad plans out there, there is no one diet that works for everyone.
Looking past the outrageous claims, there are a few hard truths the diet/food industry isn't going to tell you, but might just help you take a more realistic approach to sustained weight loss.
1. You have to exercise more than you think.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommends getting at least thirty minutes of moderate exercise most days of the week; this includes things like shoveling snow and gardening. And while this is great for improving heart health and staying active, research indicates that those looking to lose weight or maintain weight loss have to do more -- about twice as much.
For instance, members of the National Weight Control Registry (NWCR) -- a group of over 5,000 individuals who have lost an average of sixty-six pounds and kept it off for five and a half years -- exercise for about an hour, every day.
A study published in the July 28, 2008 issue of Archives of Internal Medicine supports this observational finding. The researchers enrolled 200 overweight and obese women on a diet and exercise regimen and followed them for two years. Compared with those that gained some of their weight back, the women who were able to sustain a weight loss of 10 percent of their initial weight for two years exercised consistently and regularly -- about 275 minutes a week, or fifty-five minutes of exercise at least five days a week.
In other words, things like taking the stairs, walking to the store, and gardening are great ways to boost activity level, but losing serious weight means exercising regularly for an hour or so. However, this doesn't mean you have to start running or kickboxing -- the most frequently reported form of activity in the NWCR group is walking.
2. A half-hour walk doesn't equal a brownie.
I remember going out to eat with some friends after a bike ride. Someone commented on how we deserved dessert because we had just spent the day exercising; in fact, we had taken a leisurely twenty-minute ride through the park. This probably burned the calories in a slice of our French bread, but definitely not those in the caramel fudge brownie dessert. Bummer.
And while it's easy to underestimate how many calories something has, it's also easy to overestimate how many calories we burn while exercising. Double bummer.
Even if you exercise a fair amount, it's not carte blanche to eat whatever you want. (Unless you exercise a ton, have the metabolism of a sixteen-year-old boy, and really can eat whatever you want). A report investigating the commonly-held beliefs about exercising, published in the Journal of the American Dietetic Association, concludes that although exercise does burn calories during and after exercise, for overweight persons, "excessive caloric expenditure has limited implications for substantially reducing body weight independent of nutritional modifications." In other words, to lose weight, you have to cut calories and increase exercise.
3. You have time to exercise.
If you have time to check email, watch a sitcom or two, surf the internet, have drinks/coffee/dinner with friends, go clothes shopping, and on and on, then you have time to exercise. Yes, sometimes you have to sacrifice sleep, TV, or leisure time to fit it in. Yes, sometimes you have to prioritize your exercise time over other things. But your health and the feeling you get after having worked out is well worth it.
4. Eating more of something won't help you lose weight.
The food industry is keen to latch onto weight loss research and spin it for their sales purposes. A prime example is the widespread claim that eating more dairy products will help you lose weight. However, a recent review of forty-nine clinical trials from 1966 to 2007 showed that "neither dairy nor calcium supplements helped people lose weight."
This idea -- that eating more of a certain type of product will help you lose weight -- is constantly regurgitated on supermarket shelves (think low-fat cake, low-carb crackers, high in whole grain cookies, and trans fat-free chips), but is in direct opposition to the basic idea behind weight loss -- that we have to eat less, not more.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
TIMING YOUR DAY OUT
I lived a very long time before it occurred to me how much of my day is a series of tasks and events that, if timed, make schedules much easier to follow a proper time allotment. As I crawl out of bed, having used time to go from deep sleep to wide awake, I assess how long it will take to perform morning ablutions and relieve myself (gauging from the message sent by the disposal unit of my body.)
Next, after splashing water on my face, running a comb through my hair, I calculate what I will do next as I brush my teeth. Realization sets in that my whole day is a series of little timers in my head. On my way to the kitchen to make coffee, I turn on the computer (I am hoarding savings of mille seconds of time by using Verizon FIOS). I pick up, put away things, not wasting time particles as it boots, while I got coffee started. As it boils and drips I shower, calculating the time as longer if I shampoo hair, below my waist that dries slowly.
In the bathroom, I visualize clothes for the day, use stuff that attends my body and, back to the kitchen, pick up the coffee I drink as I get dressed. Suddenly conscious that I would be wearing walking shoes that require a shoe horn and tying rather than slip-ons. I adjust this time frame. Keeping in mind that I have a 10:15 AM appointment at least 10 miles away, a quick run to the kitchen for coffee refill gives me time to skim my email and reply to anything of immediacy.
My need to be on time (I believe unnecessarily lateness is disrespectful to friends). Need gas I postponed getting it, conscious that my promptness is conditional on whether the stop light fairy works with me and whether there is much traffic.
Maybe I could simplify my day by timing all moves and tasks with a stop watch. It made sense to do that until I realized it was just another job added to my day that gravity will pull to the bottom of my priority list. And so the day goes on in those time bits...some longer than others...reading a book, covering up flatulence or cooking odors with aromas sprayed directly into the return vents of the hot air
system, watering plants more often when my world becomes an arid desert, answering the phone to strangers too willing to waste my time. The day becomes a forest of time usurpers and my mind is dizzied trying to fit everything I planned.
I'm struggling not to deal with the devil to make my day longer, give myself more energy, and figure how to get more done.
Next, after splashing water on my face, running a comb through my hair, I calculate what I will do next as I brush my teeth. Realization sets in that my whole day is a series of little timers in my head. On my way to the kitchen to make coffee, I turn on the computer (I am hoarding savings of mille seconds of time by using Verizon FIOS). I pick up, put away things, not wasting time particles as it boots, while I got coffee started. As it boils and drips I shower, calculating the time as longer if I shampoo hair, below my waist that dries slowly.
In the bathroom, I visualize clothes for the day, use stuff that attends my body and, back to the kitchen, pick up the coffee I drink as I get dressed. Suddenly conscious that I would be wearing walking shoes that require a shoe horn and tying rather than slip-ons. I adjust this time frame. Keeping in mind that I have a 10:15 AM appointment at least 10 miles away, a quick run to the kitchen for coffee refill gives me time to skim my email and reply to anything of immediacy.
My need to be on time (I believe unnecessarily lateness is disrespectful to friends). Need gas I postponed getting it, conscious that my promptness is conditional on whether the stop light fairy works with me and whether there is much traffic.
Maybe I could simplify my day by timing all moves and tasks with a stop watch. It made sense to do that until I realized it was just another job added to my day that gravity will pull to the bottom of my priority list. And so the day goes on in those time bits...some longer than others...reading a book, covering up flatulence or cooking odors with aromas sprayed directly into the return vents of the hot air
system, watering plants more often when my world becomes an arid desert, answering the phone to strangers too willing to waste my time. The day becomes a forest of time usurpers and my mind is dizzied trying to fit everything I planned.
I'm struggling not to deal with the devil to make my day longer, give myself more energy, and figure how to get more done.
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