LEARNING FULL STORIES IS DIFFICULT

The media has become more than ridiculous. The real journalists are gone, only to show up for brief moments, almost as afterthoughts as Tom Brokaw came on after the New Hampshire primaries. There are few entertainer/journalists left whom I can watch and respect. Keith Olbermann is one of the few to speak up to the administration as well as to entertainer/journalists. Do people forget that almost everything, including committed crimes, is frequently on videotape.

YouTube is one of the best things to happen to dampen people's penchant for rewriting history. Fox News, changing a transcript for history is laughable. If anyone doubts that Big Brother of 1984 is really here, stop doubting. It is laughable that it is claimed that evidence was lost because the FBI didn't pay its bills, or failed to pay them on time while breaking the law by taping private conversations.

Mistakes can happen. After all, all humans are fallible, even those who think they have a direct pipeline to God. It would be more comforting to believe that much of the media is making simple mistakes, but intelligent people, given all the evidence otherwise, would be making an error of their own to believe that. It is very interesting that Bill Kristol, Weekly Standard Editor, knew so definitely that Senator Clinton was faking tears in New Hampshire. What does that say about his own readiness to do whatever, say whatever, it takes to prove his point.

Too many people I know think their own lives of denial are more important than informing themselves as fully as our media and news sources permits. I suggest that, even as adults, we still have lots of daily homework to do.

FEAR OF DYING VS FEAR OF DEATH

Today I heard Terry Gross interview Susan Sonntag's son, who wrote a book about his mother's dying. Christopher Hitchens writes in memory of this great intellectual, who leaves quite an intellectual legacy. The son said his mother was afraid of dying, which he really didn't quite understand and seemed somewhat surprised because she had been in Sarijevo when people were being randomly shot and in constant danger of her life. He could not explain the incongruity, but I suggest that fear of dying is not necessarily fear of death, but the process of dying.

Susan Sonntag was a true atheist to the end. She was not afraid of a hereafter. There are many of us who believe that we go through this life once and death means oblivion. The thought of oblivion does not strike fear in my heart. Susan Sonntag had cancer three times and suffered great physical pain. Her dying was painful through treatments and her body's reaction to them. I would thus suggest from my own clinical experience, in therapy with many patients over the years, that those who do not fear a hereafter fear the process of dying, not death itself.

In that process they lose total control of their lives, of living. Once the term terminal illness is invoked, there is no hope for a future that continues to allow all the things one may want to accomplish to continue. Ms Gross played a tape of an interview with Susan Sonntag before her death in which she spoke of the pain her illness was causing those around her whom she loved, especially her son, and that grieved her. As only those who have intimate experience with Hospice or a dying loved one have experienced, when one knows there is a limited time to live, there is little psychic energy left to be a mentor, caretaker, advisor, or any of the roles one may have had in life. Loved ones may feel unloved and deserted if they don't understand this, hurt and disappointed and pull away from the dying person.

The fear, then, of dying is the reaction to the knowledge that when you die you will cause sadness and suffering to those people who cared for you in life. The person not only has to deal with their own thoughts and adjustment to death, but the pain of all those around who are grieving as well, trying to hold on, angry at the dying person for leaving them, and lots of other somewhat less rational reactions. Some people die without pain but that is not the usual picture. Lots of people die in excruciating pain, which our laws only recently have allowed physicians to alleviate properly. Palliative care covers pain and also takes away energy and the ability to carry on the mental tasks one might wish to perform. Some suffer with cancer or illnesses causing dementia, loss of memory, loss of speech or physical movement, and worse.

Until laws no longer prevent people from choosing to end their own suffering, alone or with medical assistance, I assert that it is greater fear of dying and not death, which religious people think will unite them with loved ones who have preceded them in death.

MORE ON MEDIA SLANT

It is always interesting to see what other nations think of us. It is also interesting to hear what media think of itself. This BBC reporter was critical of the reporting before and after the primary and is clear that the media will do nothing to change. Honesty from a journalist; how novel; how sad! It means journalists-turned-entertainers will continue to be self-serving, struggle to beat others to views which they can only hope have some accuracy. They feel little shame that their often-untrue comments, believed by those who trust them, actually influence voters and the outcome of elections, which I have come to see as the 'Rush Limbaugh effect'.

I was thrilled that one reporter, a woman from New Hampshire had to tell Chris Matthews, first to listen as he continued to talk over everyone, then to make the distinction that Iowa (where votes are public) and New Hampshire (where they are secret) differ as New Hampshire people consider it insulting to be asked for whom they voted.

Last night, Jon Stewart, on the Daily show showed those few second clips of many of the pundits spouting their incorrect predictions. It was like time lapse photography leading to the same conclusion, in effect, a loop. They start out listening to themselves, then begin to believe it is truth. His guest for the evening was Zogby of the polls. As only Jon Stewart can do, he was able to get Zogby to admit how little real value polls have for learning in advance what electoral outcome will be. While Jon Stewart is an entertainer, not a journalist, he fulfills both roles better than any of the journalists who are trying to be entertainers.

OPEN LETTER TO CHRIS MATTHEWS OF MSNBC

Since you have chosen to emulate Rush Limbaugh as an entertainer rather than a journalist, you have campaigned for your choice instead of reporting in an unbiased way. You have fallen off my list of media personalities whom I can respect, ergo watch. That will not change your life significantly, but it will change mine.

With much tension leading to final delight, I watched the results of the New Hampshire primary last night. One blogger believes that Diebold was tampered with though he repeats he has no evidence of it. Today another blogger was apparently mentioned in a tiny spot in the NY Times saying that you, Chris Matthews, helped Hillary win by your obviously biased, negative, mouthy stance. After all, the media also holds a bully pulpit and its misuse is as unconscionable as is the President's.

Buchanan thinks the media beat Hillary up and hurt her feelings which rallied women behind her. You, Chris Matthews obviously didn't recognize what the bright ones, the Dartmouth students, were able to see, that Hillary has spoken substance where Obama has not.

Hillary is right when she says it is the toughest glass ceiling to break through. How unwise of you to have allowed yourself to so blatantly advertise your disrespect for women to your large audience. You talk about your Catholicism frequently. Do you believe the Priests is to be respected while the Nuns are only their hand maidens?

Having tried to give you the benefit of the doubt, that you were not trying to damage Hillary, I blamed what you were saying on your producers. I now see how long I resisted believing that you had compromised your professional reputation and sold out to thinking that only you can be right on. You talk over the people to whom you have asked a question and you cut off people who disagree with your position. I am pleased that you were not successful in New Hampshire last night in totally manipulating voters your way.

WHEN INNER DRIVES CONFLICT

Having already written that my life is a blivet (in traditional US Army slang, slang dating back to WWII, a blivet was defined as "ten pounds of manure in a five pound bag"). I struggle to cram my life into some order and containment. I discover my desk is a mare's nest. (The original sense of the term was: a false discovery since clearlya mare doesn't have a nest. Nowadays the term implies a confused situation.) Some people have accused me of mild OCD because I actually like things put away properly (mainly so that I can find them again) and don't mind hours of data entry to make some of this possible. Others who watch my constant motion know I have ADD and, in order to find anything again in my life, I have to put things in proper places. Life doesn't seem normal anymore if I am not looking for something that has been lost in the house. My conviction that there are poltergeists here does not convince others.

One of my dreams is that someday I will be able to have a clean desk before me every time I sit down. I delude myself, thinking that I can emulate a few people whom I have admired in life who have won gold medals at clean desk contests. I really know the only way I will see a clean desk is to find someone who has one and look at it until I can imagine mine looking the same. When I learned what a clean desk takes, I'm not so sure I will ever achieve it. It takes making immediate decisions about what to throw away instead of piling heaps of "I'll look at that later" as the ringing phone interrupts. The stuff then reappears much later, having been moved yet again for a party or to make room for some other pile, until it gets found when it is no longer relevant. I believe I have just finished with the year 2003 pile. It takes stopping what you are doing in time (meaning before your nose hits the keyboard from exhaustion) to file things where they belong every day...frightening thought, even though some of them try to commit suicide by leaping into the circular file. It takes having a place to write things, instead of on little slips of paper, when someone is spitting out a telephone number or address at bullet speed. I usually neglect to write to whom it belongs, thus rendering it more useless information lying about.

If I could sit outside myself and watch the two warring urges, my compulsiveness fighting with my ADD, I might enjoy it more. As my years advance, I force myself to think of what I faced as other elders in my life left messes behind. I spent months going through the detritus they left, obviously compulsively giving in to the fear that I might toss something important to them or they wouldn't have saved it. I assure myself that my children will have no such problem. They will back up a dumpster, throw all my stuff in, and I will never know the difference!

BBC AND REUTERS FRANKNESS ON BUSH

It has been clear for a long time that many other countries do not hold President Bush in high opinion but this is the first time I have seen the BBC ridicule him so openly. Read the whole article to catch the entire context from which this quote was obtained:

Asked by the Israeli daily Yediot Ahronot whether he saw a chance to sign a comprehensive peace agreement between Israel and the Palestinians, he replied: "Yes, I do, before I leave - I'm an optimistic guy."

Presumably he meant before he leaves office.

I think we could assume that would be legacy enough.

If people think the next President will bring automatic change in atmosphere, the article further states:

It is loosely called his "freedom agenda". As Stephen Hadley put it, "we need to promote democracy and freedom as a counterpoint... to the ideology of the terrorists".

It is a good idea, but having lived in both the Middle East and the United States in the past four years, I can assure you that what looks good on paper in Washington looks less convincing on the streets of the Arab world.

There people will tell you that the "ideology of the terrorists", or "resistance" as many put it, stems from big injustices that first need to be addressed.

And many add that until Mr Bush, and that unknown successor of his, grasp that, there will never be any progress towards a lasting peace.

Normally, reading like opinion from others on Bush makes me chuckle. However, the view the world has of us and what he has brought down on our heads is not funny at all to me.

Reuter's writes: Doubts remain over Bush's readiness to use his final months in office to push Israel, a key ally, to make compromises.

Gaza (Reuters): GAZA (Reuters) - Palestinian Islamist group Hamas on Saturday dismissed President George W. Bush's upcoming visit to the Middle East as a "photo opportunity" and said he was not welcome in the region. They further quote: "The visit is nothing but a farewell visit to get some photo opportunities as Bush prepares to leave the White House."

Why does the saying: 'An hour late and a dollar short' suddenly spring to my mind?

Meanwhile, our Boston Herald, commenting on Bush's trip doesn't mention Palestine and Israel but concentrates on what he will do about Iran. Yahoo News runs an article on two demonstrators while Senator Clinton was speaking (struggling to hold on to their manhood, no doubt) wave placards and shout "Iron my shirts", proving that America doesn't really get exposed to reality where it counts in our current media. Ah, I long for the return of the Amazons of mythology! I'd like to see someone iron their shirts while these two men are wearing them!

WRITER'S STRIKE , MEDIA, and PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION

In my opinion, we no longer have journalists on TV. They should join the writer's union because they are writing fiction as entertainment. They don't report what they see, they slant the news. MSNBC, Fox, CNN and others speculate, report their biases, and the unfortunate voters who are influenced by white men (and occasionally black) believe these talking heads speak 'truth'.

How sad. They pick sound bites out, distort the intent on the speaker's part by eliminating the context. I believe the Republicans were pushing Hillary as the winner initially because they assumed they could beat her. Now they are pushing Barack Obama, again believing they have a better chance of beating him since he looks like a likely front runner at the moment.! And, all the jocks out there fear a strong woman will push us into another few years of their castrated manhood. It is so pitiful that men fear their masculinity threatened by a woman. Most can't even define what manhood really is. It is differing from women in physical genitalia, having different brain chemistry and the ability to produce stronger muscles and sperm. Otherwise, the world no longer needs men to be women's strong men and caretakers. In today's society, while the white men of our nation in charge in Washington still do not vote EQUALITY, women have forged ahead on their own for more equality in their personal and work lives.

When Hillary, 16 years ago, stood up with her husband as he campaigned, she was mocked. Today we have Elizabeth Edwards and Michele Obama, extremely active in running their husband's campaigns and speaking for them, with no one asking what their role will be in the White House if their husband's are elected. Is their any hint that they will be silent and dutiful and make used car dumps put up fences for beautification of our environment?

I am so saddened to think that it doesn't take experience, intelligence and skill to be our president...it takes 'looking presidential', having stage 'likability', making impressive promises with no accountability......oops, there go the rats following the Pied Piper!