Just before Thanksgiving I wrote some things for which I was thankful and one item was surviving a terrorist attack in the Athens Airport in 1973 with my husband and three of our children. The first thought that I had when I heard about the attacks in Mumbai were that the figures of number of dead are tragic enough, though they are forever after spared the pain that those they leave behind experience; or that the wounded, who are described so casually by the media as a number, in fact must suffer for the rest of their lives.
American intelligence and counterterrorism officials said Friday that there was mounting evidence that a Pakistani militant group — Lashkar-e-Taiba, which has long been involved in the conflict with India over the disputed territory of Kashmir — was responsible.
Since 9/11, it seems most people see terrorism only as something from Al Qaeda. It becomes more frightening as we begin to hear that the group responsible for the Mumbai attacks is likely Pakastani, with whom an ongoing feud has existed since the 40s.
Current thinking is that it is an attempt similar to Osama bin Laden's coup at the Twin Towers, to strike at the money that moves the country's economy. In India it is IT manufacturing and film making (Bollywood) which is foremost Another of the economic prices to be paid is that tourism will slow down or stop. With Americans and Brits such obvious targets, it is unlikely many of them will want to travel to India in the near future for pleasure.
Naturally, those of us who are not brainwashed to commit killings or believe that we will be rewarded in Heaven by Allah, can only see the savagery and ignorance in this form of attempt to send messages or gain control. There have always been bullies and probably will continue to be for many years to come. Not until science makes it possible to reformat a sick brain will things change sufficiently to do away with bullies around the world.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Friday, November 28, 2008
ENJOY THE HOLIDAY WITH FRIENDS AND RELATIVES
"Over the river and through the woods
To Grandfather's house we go-o-o.
The horse knows the way to carry the sleigh
Through the white and drifted snow...."
Grade school in the 30s. Every child had to learn this poem at Thanksgiving. It was written in 1844 by Lydia Maria Child and lost to today's children who don't know what it is to ride in a sleigh through snow. Main roads get plowed immediately and you turn the radio on the songs like Baby's Got Back or Live Your Life, or Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It). There aren't many sentimental songs about family members a generation removed. Everything seems to be in the here and now and if the songs make it in popularity for a few years they are relegated to the Oldies folder. Relatives are no longer over the meadows and through the woods. They usually are a few states away and travel is difficult. Many families tell me it is a chore to be together, that they have so little in common any more. They no longer enjoy being with other family members but grit their teeth and suffer through the day as a duty. How sad!
Yet, there are still wonderful family Thanksgiving celebrations and I was invited to one today, though the family was not directly mine but welcomed me as one of them. The family has a gift that can make people feel wanted, accepted, and even welcomed. Conversation was spirited with no gossip or criticisms, lots of pleasant teasing, and many subjects touched, even politics without fuss or furor.
After a spectacular meal: two turkeys cooked in Webers, many cooks participating it who wasn't pleasantly satiated. After dessert and coffee it was time for Karaoke. Unfortunately I was the wrong generation to participate properly since, while I can read lyrics, I didn't know the melodies. However, when you are surrounded by relatives and friends of three generations, the ambiance picks you up and tosses you around lightly. A line from the book, Sailing, which had a mother saying to her adult daughter, "Sometimes when your children grow up, they become just people you used to know."
My suggestion, don't try to force togetherness where it is a stress to some; whether related by blood, marriage a degree or two removed, or just warm friendships, give of yourself and enjoy sharing the things for which we are all thankful.
To Grandfather's house we go-o-o.
The horse knows the way to carry the sleigh
Through the white and drifted snow...."
Grade school in the 30s. Every child had to learn this poem at Thanksgiving. It was written in 1844 by Lydia Maria Child and lost to today's children who don't know what it is to ride in a sleigh through snow. Main roads get plowed immediately and you turn the radio on the songs like Baby's Got Back or Live Your Life, or Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It). There aren't many sentimental songs about family members a generation removed. Everything seems to be in the here and now and if the songs make it in popularity for a few years they are relegated to the Oldies folder. Relatives are no longer over the meadows and through the woods. They usually are a few states away and travel is difficult. Many families tell me it is a chore to be together, that they have so little in common any more. They no longer enjoy being with other family members but grit their teeth and suffer through the day as a duty. How sad!
Yet, there are still wonderful family Thanksgiving celebrations and I was invited to one today, though the family was not directly mine but welcomed me as one of them. The family has a gift that can make people feel wanted, accepted, and even welcomed. Conversation was spirited with no gossip or criticisms, lots of pleasant teasing, and many subjects touched, even politics without fuss or furor.
After a spectacular meal: two turkeys cooked in Webers, many cooks participating it who wasn't pleasantly satiated. After dessert and coffee it was time for Karaoke. Unfortunately I was the wrong generation to participate properly since, while I can read lyrics, I didn't know the melodies. However, when you are surrounded by relatives and friends of three generations, the ambiance picks you up and tosses you around lightly. A line from the book, Sailing, which had a mother saying to her adult daughter, "Sometimes when your children grow up, they become just people you used to know."
My suggestion, don't try to force togetherness where it is a stress to some; whether related by blood, marriage a degree or two removed, or just warm friendships, give of yourself and enjoy sharing the things for which we are all thankful.
THINGS TO BE THANKFUL FOR COME FROM MANY PLACES
HAPPY THANKSGIVING
Sitting and thinking of past years when there were 20 to 25 people around the two dining tables in our house every Thanksgiving for over thirty years, I could not help but remember that I rarely got to have a full sentence out of my mouth or any completed conversation. But my husband and I knew that we were the hub of a large family who came together in a way that would not have happened if there weren't our central place to meet. It is with gratitude that I can look back over those many years though it no longer happens. When grandchildren say it was such an important part of their family life and growing up years, it makes it all worth the exhaustion at the time.
As I was thinking how good it is to be alive, I remembered 1973, when my husband and I took the three youngest of our collective children whose grandparents had come from Greece to visit there. We were on a plane that stopped at Orly Airport in France where we were to change to a TWA flight to Athens. This was during a period when Palestinian guerrillas were attacking TWA flights. We thought we were safe because we were getting off in Athens and nothing horrible had happened. The flight was going on to Tel Aviv. Our relief was short-lived because guerrillas were tossing hand grenades into the crowd, which we had been part of just seconds before. We had reached the top of the escalator to show passports when cement flakes showered down on us as we heard explosions and gun fire. The thoughts that go through one's mind must vary with each individual but mine were, "Why does someone who has never seen us, doesn't know us, whom we have never hurt, want to kill us as a family when we are only here to visit an ancestral homeland?" Survival became a huge thing to be thankful for in a way that has never left my mind.
Having grown up the youngest of four, I'm constantly thankful for surviving what could easily have killed me many times. I was taken out in the middle of a huge pond in a flat bottom boat by older sibs, unable to swim, with no cushion or life preserver of any kind. I doubt if any of the three of us knew how to swim. If my mother had known half of what we were doing all day we might have been orphaned at a much earlier age, but as it was, she 'trusted' our judgment (not a great tribute to her own) and somehow we made it through without breaking bones as we jumped off the barn loft into wisps of hay, or tunneled through hay two stories high that could easily have suffocated us with a collapse, or jumped off the 110 foot high platform at the end of the conveyor belt, beside the rock crusher, into piles of sand many feet below.
Many times I took rides home from work all through high school from total strangers, after 10 PM when I was through waitressing. That I stayed safe, as I think back now with surprise, I never questioned the safety at the time, nor did my parents, apparently, since my father refused to stay up to come get me. I was two miles from home. I am so grateful I grew up in a safer and kinder world. Though WWII was not kind to so much of the world, I'm grateful my family was not critically touched.
It would be easy to focus on all the difficulties throughout life that I encountered, but I choose, instead, to picture how many times someone came to my rescue, seemingly from nowhere. To balance the world with its law of averages, I try to help anyone, within my power to do so, who asks for it, when they need it rather than at my convenience.
Lastly, I am grateful for the gifts Nature allowed me, especially my thirst to learn, my good health this far in life, longevity genes from both parents, chemistry that keeps me able to get lots of things done while seeing the fun in accomplishment and, most importantly, the sense of humor to find so much to laugh with and at daily.
Sitting and thinking of past years when there were 20 to 25 people around the two dining tables in our house every Thanksgiving for over thirty years, I could not help but remember that I rarely got to have a full sentence out of my mouth or any completed conversation. But my husband and I knew that we were the hub of a large family who came together in a way that would not have happened if there weren't our central place to meet. It is with gratitude that I can look back over those many years though it no longer happens. When grandchildren say it was such an important part of their family life and growing up years, it makes it all worth the exhaustion at the time.
As I was thinking how good it is to be alive, I remembered 1973, when my husband and I took the three youngest of our collective children whose grandparents had come from Greece to visit there. We were on a plane that stopped at Orly Airport in France where we were to change to a TWA flight to Athens. This was during a period when Palestinian guerrillas were attacking TWA flights. We thought we were safe because we were getting off in Athens and nothing horrible had happened. The flight was going on to Tel Aviv. Our relief was short-lived because guerrillas were tossing hand grenades into the crowd, which we had been part of just seconds before. We had reached the top of the escalator to show passports when cement flakes showered down on us as we heard explosions and gun fire. The thoughts that go through one's mind must vary with each individual but mine were, "Why does someone who has never seen us, doesn't know us, whom we have never hurt, want to kill us as a family when we are only here to visit an ancestral homeland?" Survival became a huge thing to be thankful for in a way that has never left my mind.
Having grown up the youngest of four, I'm constantly thankful for surviving what could easily have killed me many times. I was taken out in the middle of a huge pond in a flat bottom boat by older sibs, unable to swim, with no cushion or life preserver of any kind. I doubt if any of the three of us knew how to swim. If my mother had known half of what we were doing all day we might have been orphaned at a much earlier age, but as it was, she 'trusted' our judgment (not a great tribute to her own) and somehow we made it through without breaking bones as we jumped off the barn loft into wisps of hay, or tunneled through hay two stories high that could easily have suffocated us with a collapse, or jumped off the 110 foot high platform at the end of the conveyor belt, beside the rock crusher, into piles of sand many feet below.
Many times I took rides home from work all through high school from total strangers, after 10 PM when I was through waitressing. That I stayed safe, as I think back now with surprise, I never questioned the safety at the time, nor did my parents, apparently, since my father refused to stay up to come get me. I was two miles from home. I am so grateful I grew up in a safer and kinder world. Though WWII was not kind to so much of the world, I'm grateful my family was not critically touched.
It would be easy to focus on all the difficulties throughout life that I encountered, but I choose, instead, to picture how many times someone came to my rescue, seemingly from nowhere. To balance the world with its law of averages, I try to help anyone, within my power to do so, who asks for it, when they need it rather than at my convenience.
Lastly, I am grateful for the gifts Nature allowed me, especially my thirst to learn, my good health this far in life, longevity genes from both parents, chemistry that keeps me able to get lots of things done while seeing the fun in accomplishment and, most importantly, the sense of humor to find so much to laugh with and at daily.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
HAS ANYONE NOTICED?
We are a day before Thanksgiving 2008. This year, considering the plurality of votes for Obama, more people will be happy that he is the President-Elect than wishing it was McCain and Palin. We are spared the great sensitivity Gov. Palin has for those who respect animal life, aka vegetarians.. For the change predicted in Washington, I am thankful.
We should be further thankful that we live in this country with hope surrounding us. We may all wish for the changes to be ideal and have happened yesterday, but it seems pretty clear that there will be changes and that will make life better for the people rather than the select, greedy few for whom it has served for the past eight years.
We should all be thankful that, though we have not found cures for AIDS, cancer, ALS, Alzheimer's, etc...we have found a way to make Astronaut urine drinkable. Well, does it show 'where there is a will, there is a way'? It is comforting to know that the recycling is not a direct pipe from one end to the other! There is a process that give kudos for recycling. Now if scientists can turn fecal material into edible tidbit, the space station can be almost self-sustaining!
Lastly, I am thankful that this holiday paves the way for getting through Christmas in the very near future so that life can return to normal and we will not have to hear about merchants suffering. Their suffering should make clear that there will be lots of families suffering the lack of Christmas giving and the usually treats and surprises. However, the media hasn't seemed too focused on that aspect of the current financial and economic crisis. Apparently starvation and childrens' disappointment doesn't bring the ratings up for Sweeps.
Of note: the Bush administration was full of turkeys who will, no doubt, be on the pardon list. These will also be two-legged and should have tar and feathers added to their turkey selves. I doubt there will be a paucity of volunteers to complete that task....for which we can all be also thankful.
We should be further thankful that we live in this country with hope surrounding us. We may all wish for the changes to be ideal and have happened yesterday, but it seems pretty clear that there will be changes and that will make life better for the people rather than the select, greedy few for whom it has served for the past eight years.
We should all be thankful that, though we have not found cures for AIDS, cancer, ALS, Alzheimer's, etc...we have found a way to make Astronaut urine drinkable. Well, does it show 'where there is a will, there is a way'? It is comforting to know that the recycling is not a direct pipe from one end to the other! There is a process that give kudos for recycling. Now if scientists can turn fecal material into edible tidbit, the space station can be almost self-sustaining!
Lastly, I am thankful that this holiday paves the way for getting through Christmas in the very near future so that life can return to normal and we will not have to hear about merchants suffering. Their suffering should make clear that there will be lots of families suffering the lack of Christmas giving and the usually treats and surprises. However, the media hasn't seemed too focused on that aspect of the current financial and economic crisis. Apparently starvation and childrens' disappointment doesn't bring the ratings up for Sweeps.
Of note: the Bush administration was full of turkeys who will, no doubt, be on the pardon list. These will also be two-legged and should have tar and feathers added to their turkey selves. I doubt there will be a paucity of volunteers to complete that task....for which we can all be also thankful.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
MOM, WE DID A MITZVAH TODAY
Evidence of my brain (CPU) slowing down is that it took me at least 3 minutes to remember 'mitzvah, one of the few Yiddish words I know. After a friend, who taught me the word, called me and told me her mail program receives incoming mail but could not send anything out(she uses Eudora as do I). It reminded me of a German Shepherd we once had who was a fear biter. He let everyone into the house, with no problem, but bit anyone trying to leave. Since my Eudora had no problems and I had never before seen the error message hers showed, I was stumped as was the friend who had accompanied me, a guy who built his own 64-bit, Vista computer.
First, though she had Used AVG and cleaned it out a few hours ago, we took a lot more garbage off her computer. All the junk that had come with it when new, the games for trial, and Weatherbug (known to be a real clutterbug, were removed. Wild Tangent, being like English Ivy and cockroaches that can never be totally eradicated, will come back soon enough. These efforts produced a bit more speed . Finally, while uninstalling, I realized I had inadvertently removed the driver to her scanner/printer combo so it took us a bit to find the proper driver and get it back for her.
While we were cleaning house, I kept puzzling as to what might be giving the strange message. It was set to read smtp for outgoing mail, but the error message kept saying that the smtp.q. was timing out. Most confusing was that the error message subject did not match the settings.
Not wishing to torture readers to the degree we had felt frustrated, after more than an hour of chasing our figurative tails, we finally came across info on the ISP's site that some kind soul had written. Back to the mail program, (trying to work all the while with a mouse that was set up left handedly, with reversed mouse buttons) we checked the Eudora setup for a time that was exponential. Everything was proper. The error message kept translating the smtp to smtp.q.(ISP). Blessings on Google for trying but it wasn't much of a help.
The owner had called her ISP tech support, who told her it can't have been the ISP's fault, it had to be her mail program. Stupidly trusting that the tech support knew more than we did (don't fall into that trap, reader)and, after spending an hour or so checking out lots of things, on FAQ on Eudora and then on her ISP, it showed that the ISP was showing a different port should be used than that which she had been using. Apparently her ISP changed the port without informing users... though, even if she had been informed, she would not have known what to do with the information.
So, once again, it was an anonymous user who had come to the rescue and not the experts hired and paid. Just as I have learned more about medicine from my patients and friends than from my doctor, the computer problem proved to be solved by a lay source. My firm advice to everyone is to persevere with every possibility until something finally comes of your efforts. That the steps taken can probably not be duplicated forces the hope that the same problem will never be encountered again!
That would indeed be a surprise if true. However, there will always be new problems to eat up time not allotted, frustrate the user who had long since lost her USER FRIENDLY button, and wonders why life used to be simple, even if dull, many years ago.
First, though she had Used AVG and cleaned it out a few hours ago, we took a lot more garbage off her computer. All the junk that had come with it when new, the games for trial, and Weatherbug (known to be a real clutterbug, were removed. Wild Tangent, being like English Ivy and cockroaches that can never be totally eradicated, will come back soon enough. These efforts produced a bit more speed . Finally, while uninstalling, I realized I had inadvertently removed the driver to her scanner/printer combo so it took us a bit to find the proper driver and get it back for her.
While we were cleaning house, I kept puzzling as to what might be giving the strange message. It was set to read smtp for outgoing mail, but the error message kept saying that the smtp.q. was timing out. Most confusing was that the error message subject did not match the settings.
Not wishing to torture readers to the degree we had felt frustrated, after more than an hour of chasing our figurative tails, we finally came across info on the ISP's site that some kind soul had written. Back to the mail program, (trying to work all the while with a mouse that was set up left handedly, with reversed mouse buttons) we checked the Eudora setup for a time that was exponential. Everything was proper. The error message kept translating the smtp to smtp.q.(ISP). Blessings on Google for trying but it wasn't much of a help.
The owner had called her ISP tech support, who told her it can't have been the ISP's fault, it had to be her mail program. Stupidly trusting that the tech support knew more than we did (don't fall into that trap, reader)and, after spending an hour or so checking out lots of things, on FAQ on Eudora and then on her ISP, it showed that the ISP was showing a different port should be used than that which she had been using. Apparently her ISP changed the port without informing users... though, even if she had been informed, she would not have known what to do with the information.
So, once again, it was an anonymous user who had come to the rescue and not the experts hired and paid. Just as I have learned more about medicine from my patients and friends than from my doctor, the computer problem proved to be solved by a lay source. My firm advice to everyone is to persevere with every possibility until something finally comes of your efforts. That the steps taken can probably not be duplicated forces the hope that the same problem will never be encountered again!
That would indeed be a surprise if true. However, there will always be new problems to eat up time not allotted, frustrate the user who had long since lost her USER FRIENDLY button, and wonders why life used to be simple, even if dull, many years ago.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO SLEEP WITH ONE??
There are lots of people who like to live with strange wildlife in their houses and beds. While it is difficult for me to understand why anyone wants a life long commitment to to either feed, walk or clean the cage of and feed a living thing bit sprung from their loins, so to speak,what some choose as their extended families is mind boggling. It would take a heap pf loving to put up with these everyday.
These dogs look like some that only their mothers could love....and, even then, I'm not so sure. One of them appears not to be a real dog but a flying dust mop.
They come in all sizes and shapes from miniature to humongous. This last one is not a dog I want to walk and have to pooper scoop after....but that may just be my own eccentricity. For all you dog lovers...have fun. I'll stick to my plants. They die quietly and don't smell badly if it should happen that way.
These dogs look like some that only their mothers could love....and, even then, I'm not so sure. One of them appears not to be a real dog but a flying dust mop.
They come in all sizes and shapes from miniature to humongous. This last one is not a dog I want to walk and have to pooper scoop after....but that may just be my own eccentricity. For all you dog lovers...have fun. I'll stick to my plants. They die quietly and don't smell badly if it should happen that way.
TRUTH
Truth can be: fact, actuality, fidelity to an original or to a standard. (Merriam-Webster) To an individual, truth is whatever they believe, though they may often be wrong in that belief. Unfortunately, too many people confuse truth and faith. Faith, on the other hand, is an allegiance to duty or a person: This is often followed by loyalty, which is fidelity to one’s promises or sincerity of intentions. It is a firm belief in something for which there is no proof; complete trust. (Merriam-Webster). Many religious people are unable to distinguish between truth and faith. For others, it is difficult to grant faith when too many unanswerable questions are raised. Religious faithfuls have greater problems accepting that some people need proof before belief.
Thus, truth (like beauty) can often be only ‘in the eyes of the beholder’. We know, for certain, from our courts of law that the truth is not always discovered. It can be altered from view by the distorted memory of witnesses, as research has made far more evident today. Thismeans that some people are inadvertently telling untruths; some out of ignorance and faith; and others who deliberately mislead the listener(s).
Political candidates of both parties may occasional have some misinformation but it is pretty well documented that some candidates have knowingly lied. That is a serious accusation towards those seeking the highest two offices in the country. It does not bode well for their behavior in office, should we be so unfortunate as to have them get elected by more lying to or cheating the voters system.
It is always helpful to know what really happened before making a judgment. Yet, we all know that is not possible much of the time. As a therapist, it is not really relevant what the ‘truth’ of a matter is. It is, however, relevant, what patients are using as their truth. In doing couples work, it sometimes feels as though one is working with apples and oranges. Two people who say they were at the same place and at the same time have two totally different recollections as to what transpired. It is a waste of everyone’s time to try to find or prove what really happened. You have to deal with what people think or believe happened, why they think it did, the consequences of their thinking, and how they plan to work those out.
Truth or consequences was not only a game, it is life. The worst that anyone can do is lie to themselves, as though it is not bad enough to life to others. At least, when you are lying to others, you know the truth. When you life to yourself, there is no truth.
.
Thus, truth (like beauty) can often be only ‘in the eyes of the beholder’. We know, for certain, from our courts of law that the truth is not always discovered. It can be altered from view by the distorted memory of witnesses, as research has made far more evident today. Thismeans that some people are inadvertently telling untruths; some out of ignorance and faith; and others who deliberately mislead the listener(s).
Political candidates of both parties may occasional have some misinformation but it is pretty well documented that some candidates have knowingly lied. That is a serious accusation towards those seeking the highest two offices in the country. It does not bode well for their behavior in office, should we be so unfortunate as to have them get elected by more lying to or cheating the voters system.
It is always helpful to know what really happened before making a judgment. Yet, we all know that is not possible much of the time. As a therapist, it is not really relevant what the ‘truth’ of a matter is. It is, however, relevant, what patients are using as their truth. In doing couples work, it sometimes feels as though one is working with apples and oranges. Two people who say they were at the same place and at the same time have two totally different recollections as to what transpired. It is a waste of everyone’s time to try to find or prove what really happened. You have to deal with what people think or believe happened, why they think it did, the consequences of their thinking, and how they plan to work those out.
Truth or consequences was not only a game, it is life. The worst that anyone can do is lie to themselves, as though it is not bad enough to life to others. At least, when you are lying to others, you know the truth. When you life to yourself, there is no truth.
.
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