TALKING TO STRANGERS CAN BE FUN

Today as I was icing my knee at Physical Therapy, after an hour of exercises, I was reading my book, Brain Droppings by George
Carlin. It always makes me feel a bit awkward to be laughing so hard I have to exert every pubococcygeus muscle of my pelvic floor. Not too far away, a man in a black shirt and pants caught my eye and said, "I want that book to read after you." His salt and pepper hair suggested to me that he was a quite bit younger than I, nice looking, and oddly dressed in black pants and a black shirt. We began a conversation, first about humor, and then about life, which then segued to Faith.

I was blissfully unaware initially that the man was probably a priest as I replied to his saying that 'lots of people seemed more relaxed about life when they had Faith', and I answered, "Yes, and some people do well with placebos." He laughed and told me that was good, he had never heard that before. It was then that I saw that his black shirt had a small black collar standing up, as well.

Having put my irreligious foot in my mouth, I felt there was no turning back. I said I respected everyone's right to whatever beliefs worked for them, though they might differ from mine. I added that I followed the Golden Rule and lived an honest, moral life with integrity and I sincerely believed I would be in oblivion when the CPU in my cranium stopped working. I doubted that I would later suffer for my life beliefs. He smiled, kindly and not at all disapprovingly, and I wished our conversation could have lasted longer.

Since I have never gotten over the habit of talking to everyone who is willing to talk back, I tried to recall more of our conversation though I've never been good at total recall other than getting the gist of things. It started to be a conversation when I pointed out why I liked Carlin's humor so much. Carlin thought outside the box, which is what I like to see in myself whenever I look out there. It is both a curse and blessing, to use that as a metaphor, because people who are traditional or rigid, often see you as somewhat frightening as you deviate from their view of what should be. It would be a dull life, indeed, if one stopped seeing new things in one's life. Discovering the excitement of seeing newness in one's life and space is invigorating. It is also true that you don't have to travel very far to share ideas with people. Looking into someone's eyes, then smiling, usually works to let them know you are not a danger. (Of course, being a fat, old lady who looks like someone's grandmother doesn't hurt in developing trust, either).

It is never my intent to insult strangers nor cause them distress when I unhesitatingly toss my personal views for all to hear and form opinions about me. Some people are too hesitant to be frank about their fear or disapproval of me but I can see it in their demeanor; others tell me I would be better off with Faith (from Wikipedia: "Faith is a belief, characteristically without proof.[1] It is the confident belief in the truth of or trustworthiness of a person, idea, or thing. Formal usage of the word "faith" is usually reserved for concepts of religion, as in theology, where it refers to a trusting belief in a transcendent reality or Supreme Being. Informal usage of the word "faith" can be quite broad, and may be used standardly in place of "trust", "belief", or "hope". It can also refer to a religion itself or to religion in general. (For informal uses of the word "faith", see Faith (word)). As with "trust", faith involves a concept of future events or outcomes".), though the projection is lost on me because I feel quite well-off spiritually. Few look at me with acceptance as a kindred spirit, though when that happens, it is like finding a diamond in a manure pile.

Life is so much more exciting when you share yourself with others, especially strangers.

TRUTH

Truth can be: fact, actuality, fidelity to an original or to a standard. (Merriam-Webster) To an individual, truth is whatever they believe, though they may often be wrong in that belief. Unfortunately, too many people confuse truth and faith. Faith, on the other hand, is an allegiance to duty or a person: This is often followed by loyalty, which is fidelity to one’s promises or sincerity of intentions. It is a firm belief in something for which there is no proof; complete trust. (Merriam-Webster). Many religious people are unable to distinguish between truth and faith. For others, it is difficult to grant faith when too many unanswerable questions are raised. Religious faithfuls have greater problems accepting that some people need proof before belief.

Thus, truth (like beauty) can often be only ‘in the eyes of the beholder’. We know, for certain, from our courts of law that the truth is not always discovered. It can be altered from view by the distorted memory of witnesses, as research has made far more evident today. Thismeans that some people are inadvertently telling untruths; some out of ignorance and faith; and others who deliberately mislead the listener(s).

Political candidates of both parties may occasional have some misinformation but it is pretty well documented that some candidates have knowingly lied. That is a serious accusation towards those seeking the highest two offices in the country. It does not bode well for their behavior in office, should we be so unfortunate as to have them get elected by more lying to or cheating the voters system.

It is always helpful to know what really happened before making a judgment. Yet, we all know that is not possible much of the time. As a therapist, it is not really relevant what the ‘truth’ of a matter is. It is, however, relevant, what patients are using as their truth. In doing couples work, it sometimes feels as though one is working with apples and oranges. Two people who say they were at the same place and at the same time have two totally different recollections as to what transpired. It is a waste of everyone’s time to try to find or prove what really happened. You have to deal with what people think or believe happened, why they think it did, the consequences of their thinking, and how they plan to work those out.

Truth or consequences was not only a game, it is life. The worst that anyone can do is lie to themselves, as though it is not bad enough to life to others. At least, when you are lying to others, you know the truth. When you life to yourself, there is no truth.
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