DOUBLE ENTENDRES

Life can be fun when we allow it. A sense of humor carries us such a long way. Double entendres (a word or phrase which has two different meanings, one of which is usually sexual or rude ) make communication richer, especially for adults to be able to talk over the heads of children, or intellectually challenged adults.

One of my favorites has been the response to someone saying, in a whining voice, "But I am trying." and I reply, "Yes, very." Many are sent around as jokes on the Internet. Often they appear as headlines in newspapers, as: "Drunks Get Nine Months in Violin Case", or "Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers". The British are masters at it. Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets." or, "Jack Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyre choice on World Superbike racing: "Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had a hard on now."

Sometimes languages are helpful. In England, to shag is the 'f-word'. In America, it is used to mean to chase after, as "I shagged my children." This would be enormously inappropriate to the ears of a Brit. An old boss of mine, in frustration, would hold both arms up as though tossing something in the air and say, "I throw up." A father might wink at his wife, within hearing of the children, and say, "I'm finding it too hard to stay up much longer."

The movie SHREK had some wonderful ones as did the very old cartoons by Bob Clampett whose writer's had a wonderful use of double entendres that made the parents' watching them tolerable while the kids didn't have a clue to the humor of them. Double entendres are insidious and ubiquitous. As with Easter eggs, you have to hunt for them.

TIME WASTED-TIME GAINED

There are many ways to waste time and lots of books on time management to gain it. I realize that either is subjective. For me, playing simple computer games like Free Cell or Solitaire is like pushing my gear shift to neutral. As I play, I can concentrate better on the phone, especially to those on the other end who talk more than listen. I relax because winning or losing is totally irrelevant to me, though otherwise competitive. I don't have to re-invent wheels. I learn the right way to do things within my skill set or hire a pro when I think the task is beyond me.

Learning how to do things may seem a time waste to some but pays off in time saved, being better informed. Putting away things like watch, keys, credit cards, etc in the same place keeps me from wasting time hunting. (Despite that rule, a Murphy's Law lives in my house that says: As soon as I find whatever I have been hunting for, it will immediately be replaced by something else that goes missing. That law expands to: As soon as I fix something, another will break or need repair.)

Since I am a first generation American, I am not weighted down with a notion that I have to be doing something productive for others to make my time worth while. I take preventive steps, like oiling a machine to keep it working. Relaxing and stretching periodically keeps my muscles even. As a child doing my household chores I worked for a while, played the piano for a while, and then went back to work. I learned to reward myself many years before I worked on a Behavioral Unit and found my style was recommended to maintain mental and physical health. Having goals and rewards is very important to keep me on task.

For many, work and hobbies get off-balance. When work piles up, time stolen for hobbies puts on pressure...and even guilt. Imbalance sets up a chain reaction of negatives. It makes some people around you annoyed, bosses angry, loved ones feeling left out. Finding the right balance to your life requires great discipline. A good thing about senior status is that often there is not a boss (unless a spouse is considered one, which brings up yet another topic for another day) and things get done more slowly (yet another impediment). Additionally, the naive concept that working entitles one to a senior life of being able to do as one pleases, disappoints a lot of people when senior reality hits. Modern medicine has allowed lots of people to miss the bullet when in the past they would have died. That gained time, by not being employed, is great if one's mind, eyesight, mobility, coordination and all those useful things we might once have had, are still with us.

Regardless of what age we are, life is better when certain conditions are met. These are simple. If your life works for you at no significant expense to others and you maintain a preference for being alive...you just might be doing the right things.

WISHING YOUR LIFE AWAY

So many of us, during our working lives, wish for the weekdays to hurry by, to get to the weekend; we wish for the time to pass quickly when some dreaded medical procedure will be over, or some other anxiety producing or very boring event will cease. While I have prided myself that I don't live in the past, I realize I have spent too much time 'wishing my life away'.

It is not a problem that I have given up activities that are beyond my bodily strength or endurance. I never wanted to climb a mountain anyway. I used to have a professor who advised, "If you feel the urge to climb a mountain, lie down and the urge will pass." And, it always did. Whenever I perceived any 'mountain', I ignored it and did something else. I now realize that it fits with always being aware of one's parameters. If I don't have to do something and I don't want to do it, that is the winning combination. There is always something else to do that includes only one of those criteria.

The only time I really DO wish my days to pass quickly is when I am ill. That doesn't happen too often, but being miserable, confined to bed with weakness, unable to concentrate on reading, achy, head hurting, I stay in bed and do what I have to do to sleep a lot until my immune system takes over and banishes the bugs. I do not suffer waiting well. I wish the time would pass waiting for people to arrive, waiting for the doctor or dentist who never seems on time though I have to hurry to be there not a minute late, or rituals like funerals in churches where I tire of counting lights, icons and bald heads.

Life is good. I need to find a way to stop wishing it away; there is not that much time left!

FEELING COMPLETE

It took widowhood to teach me that feeling complete happens totally within. While you are in partnership, it is very nice to share tasks, like keeping up the house, shopping, food preparation, kitchen cleanup, cloths washing, both inside and outside maintenance and so much more . Living alone, you get to do it all, by yourself. You can find or hire someone to do it for you, which takes money and effort.

However, there are some hidden pluses to living without that significant other. You, alone, choose what you want to do and are able do. There is no discussing, compromising, arguing or wait for a decision. Though you might have later regrets, you don't even have to be reasonable or responsible. All consequences are up to you and you alone will live with them. You can stay up as late as you wish, get up to your own schedule. You never have to watch a TV show in which you have no interest, nor be interrupted in the middle of one in which you are interested.

You are free to develop lots of friends with different interests who help broaden the scope of subjects by which you grow. You are free to go out whenever you please, alone or with friends, with no one to question your loyalty or actions.

'Do-it-yourself' becomes a way of life. When you accept that you can, you are complete.

SOME OF MY RULES FOR LIVING

This is a partial list; a work in progress.

1. Look back only for experiential lessons for future use.
2. Always be planning your next move in life, as well as in chess, checkers, war games, bridge or whatever.
3. If you understand something not seen by others, keep looking, it is likely you are missing something. (A variation on: Fifty million Frenchman can't be wrong)
4. It is never necessary to re-invent the wheel...ask for advice from those who might have it to give.
5. Do more favors for others than you receive...it broadens the pool of help you may someday require.
6. Sharing your pain with friends is best served with humor.
7. Always tell the truth; your credibility is one of the most important facets of your character profile.
8. Be prompt; show respect for the time of others.
9. Be articulate about your beliefs and intentions.
10. Follow the Golden Rule

TROUBLES COME IN BIG BATCHES

The other day I noticed a puddle of water streaming from under my washing machine. By some trial and error, I noticed that it only happened when the hot water faucet was on. After checking behind the machine to make sure the hoses were tight and not leaking, I was at a loss, for what someone as technologically challenged in machine repair can be, to fix it myself. So, I did what every other woman who needs not to mop up her floor during each wash; I called the repairman. I prefer doing business with one place, I got a repairman I knew who was pretty good and who had sold me the machine, so he knew it well. On the phone, he said he had never heard of this problem, that usually if there is a water leak it would be from both faucets but he would come and take a look.

Naturally, it blew a whole afternoon waiting for him since he was, of course, delayed longer at the last stop than he had anticipated (bow-wow-woof-woof), he had to take the top off the machine. After many minutes of trying everything, he called me down to the basement and said he just couldn't find anything.

Then as he was getting ready to put the top of the machine back on, we noticed some water running (He had tried many loads with hot water.) It was a surprise to see that the water on the floor, running under the machine just as I had seen before, was actually from a soldered, rusted join on the drain pipe standing on the floor in which the hose fit that emptied out the machine. We assumed that the hot water must have melted or loosened the sludge in the pipe, opening it up to leaking. He put the top back on the washer and suggested, (After $69.95 service charge) that I call a plumber. I felt that was a decent price for a diagnosis that I could never have come to by myself since the pipe wasn't visible while the top of the machine was on. End result, at least I know what to do and whom to call.

Next surprise was when I shut off one of my computers and a copying deck kept blinking and causing static in the sound system of the other machine. This one was an even greater puzzle because the deck was tied to the computer and had always before shut off with the computer. I live a charmed life. A neighbor is a sound engineer and has told me top call him before i call a computer repairman. As much as I feel this is an intrusion, I did call him and he initially diagnosed that it might be the power supply. (No problem here, easy to buy, not expensive and probably worth replacing anyway after almost 4 years). He suggested that I just leave the computer on standby until I get the power supply since he could not just unplug the deck as the sound system ran through it. After a few intues he called back and said he thought of another possible cause. The motherboard might be at fault. Now we are not talking a band-aid fix, we are talking mega surgery. I will only find out what I need after more trial and error. I will replace the power supply and see if that makes a fix.

DIFFICULT CHOICES

On Saturday, October 20, 2007, I was aware of two of the most significant events going on in Boston simultaneously. The first was the Boston Red Sox playing the Cleveland Indians at Fenway Park, the second was at Boston Symphony Hall where Christoph Von Dohnanyi was conducting a wonderful program. My very good friend, who has shared his season subscription to BSO with me for the past few years is an avid baseball fan and had a ticket to Fenway for the sixth game off the AL playoffs. He gave me his tickets, free parking ticket, so I invited my daughter to accompany me.

In a most poignant gesture, since she loves going to Symphony with me, she asked if I would mind taking her husband instead. Proud of the unselfish, loving character she showed in doing so, I readily agreed and off we went. Frank had never been to Symphony Hall. Listening to music in that Hall is a special, musical, ear drum massage..

The program included Piano Concerto No. 3 in c minor, Opus 37 and Symphony No. 5 in c minor, Opus 67, both by Beethoven. At the top of the framing of the stage, with all its gilding, is an oval plaque with Beethoven printed on it. The Hall was built in the 1870s which makes that choice a rather strong statement about how Beethoven has long been revered there.

At intermission, however, I (and rather a few others) raced for Sid, the head honcho of the doormen, who gave us the score in the bottom of the second inning...Sox 4, Indians 1. JD Drew had hit a grand slam; he who had not been a shining star this season, energized his team.

At the concert's end, the score was Sox 10, Indians 1, in the fifth inning. We reached home in time to watch the final three innings. One aging Red Sox pitcher, Curt Schilling, had pulled himself together to hold the Indians for 8 innings, replaced when the Indians got another run. The game ended with the Sox adding 2, ending the game at 12 to 2. We were able to see the last 3 innings on TV!

Now tell me, can life get much better than that on a Saturday night?