ROMANCE NOVELS

Most women who choose to read romance novels are either doing it out of limited physical options or are totally falling for images on those pages. The women are always passionate in their responses because the men stir them up so that they are left panting and 'boneless' at the first kiss (which wouldn't exactly calm the sexual harassment cops today). The men are usually well endowed and I've never found a premature ejaculator nor the name Viagra in any of the too-many-books-to-mention that I have read in my dotage.

Men can hold back from their 'release' until the women have reached their peak (and passed it) several times. They delicately hold the throbbing woman until her shudders quiet, bring her to peak again and again, and when they are convinced she is sated, allow their own 'arousal' to take them to their 'release'. That is delightful pornography in text, allowing those who read the descriptions to form their own mental images. There are no dirty bare feet or long, greasy hair styles to spoil that image as there were in the first edition of the Joy of Sex. Regardless of the written description, all the men look handsome and virile to the reader though, if they were all to draw what they picture, I daresay they would look very different in each drawing.

The bar may not be the only thing raised by sexual expectations, but it is raised higher than that set by most of the couples I have treated in my many years as a therapist. When these books, great for sublimation and fantasy, are read it must make the average man and woman seem pretty dull by comparison, left to wonder how to get what they are clearly missing. The male version, more visual pornography, sets up totally different images...usually lacking the tenderness given the female by the male in the romance novel and more likely to expect activity most women find noxious rather than pleasurable. When partners' expectations are totally disparate, one hardly expects to see the relationship endure...and many of those I have seen definitely did not make it, especially if a man finds an extra-marital partner that slides willingly under the bar. Or, if a woman finds a man with more tasteful appetites and gentler goals.

Some of the writers, especially the most prolific ones, seem to have a sex scene template with four or five variations. It is easy to identify with these couplings, which certainly beat watching the news on TV in today's world, though the likelihood of ever in life experiencing what the written word describes is quite limited.

Nevertheless, the fact that romantic novels are such a booming industry suggests that they work for lots of people. Otherwise lonely lives who don't get the same consolation from pets, keep the book industry (new and used) busy even in our lowered economy.

George Gobel, at 50's comedian used to say, "Money does buy happiness. Stop on your way home and buy a fifth." I say, "Money does buy happiness (aka sublimation). Read a romance novel."