Last night my 18-years-older-than-I brother died, not unexpectedly, but anticipating death makes the finality of it no easier. It made me, once again, aware of how many lives one person touches as my other brother and I discussed whom we should call. My older brother leaves a widow; there are three sons and 3 grandsons who survive my brother. My role is minimal in planning. When my husband was dying, my older brother and his wife were shocked that we planned no burial, only a cremation and no religious service. 11 days after his death, we had a Celebration of(my husband's) Life in a local hotel, brunch was served and there were about 185 attendees (mostly by invitation) though some just showed up. It was a relaxed gathering, few tears, lovely reminiscences and lots of musician friends and family playing the music.
My brother and his wife are deeply religious and will have a wake, a funeral, a priest at both, and his burial plot is already there with the stone in place, ready with his name...only the date of death to be inscribed. I will cringe at all the waste of time, money, and most of all, the beautiful land that is being covered with stones. However, with respect to my brother and family, I will try to keep my thoughts to myself, believing that each of us has a right to choose faith, custom and corporal after-life.
After that, I will go on living my own life, getting older everyday, continuing to live with the best humor I can have, within and without.
3 comments:
I'm glad I got to see Charlie over the summer at Uncle Lou's. He was always very sweet whenever I saw him. I hope Helen is doing alright too. You all are in my thoughts.
I know you have plenty of people to talk to and need next to nothing as well but, just in case, I am always around for whatever might come up...
I hope you and the rest of your brother's family will find the strength to cope at this time.
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