Long time friends and acquaintances

The advantage to knowing people for a long time is what, in the past, you have shared with them and can relive by talking with them. I think that is a main reason that one seems to connect with sibs in later life. They are, after all, the only people who shared your parents and grew up with you. However, make no mistake, the growing up was also a very different experience for each sib, depending on age, sex, cultural factors, health, social and intellectual factors.

We hold onto memories, souvenirs, pictures, and various other ways of reminding us of the happy times earlier in life. My friends and contacts seem to be in many parts of the world which makes hearing from them always fun, not only for the old, but for the new, as well. It is gratifying to find out the things people are doing that are so different than when you last saw them, or that you are doing.. There are new people in their lives, too. When all experiences get shared, horizons are made broader for everyone.

Easier access to long distance calling, cell phones, email, IMs, websites and blogs make all this easier for us all to stay in touch. However, staying in touch with old friends is not without its down side, as well. Hearing that old friends have died, are ill, have had other tragedies in their lives, or worse yet…have moved and left no forwarding address. Sometimes they have split up from the family configuration with which you were familiar.

The biggest shocker for me are older men, with second and younger wives, starting new families in their mid-fifties. Talk about cutting yourself off from having things in common with your age group! Another shocker is older couples who are adopting children. Their life style change also shuts out everything but an occasional reminiscence as they often spend great time learning the cultural origin of the children so the children are not totally cut off from their cultural or ethnic heritage. I have found that sometimes, influenced by a spouse over the years, old friends have changed in political and religious values to the point that they want to shut out their past. We no longer have anything in common to share.

Those are the exceptions. Most of my friends are wonderful, loving and close. I care about their lives and they care about mine. We think about subjects and talk about them, past and present. We talk about how we have grown and changed over the years and give each other the benefit of lessons learned, resources, new ideas, good books to read, movies to watch and, above all, share jokes and laughter.

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