I've never mastered the fine art of denial in the face of reality. I think that gene is missing from my genome. I know that I will not look any better if I never look in a mirror again nor will I ever see a 21 year old look back at me if I do. I learned that buying a smaller size of clothing will not make me lose weight. Nor will I lose weight by paying for a gym which I seldom frequent. Not putting away my summer clothes will not prolong the season, and not bringing out the winter clothes will never hold the cold at bay. Weight will not slide off of me as long as I say, "I'll just eat this goodie just this once" (only it is a new goodie every day). I know if I go through life telling everyone what I think they want to hear...they will just grow to mistrust me, not like me more.
Denial is a defense mechanism in which a person is faced with a fact that is too painful to accept and rejects it instead, insisting that it is not true despite any overwhelming evidence to the contrary. It can work to 'save' people from unbearable painful facts, or it can cause great harm by lulling people when they should be taking action.
Lacking the denial gene was worse when I used to be compelled to tell people what I saw as the truth. Truth, I now know, is in the eyes of the believer. Telling people that which they are denying goes nowhere, but has frustrated me greatly in the past. When I learned to live in my own skin it became easier to ignore denial in other people. I learned to trust myself and my own judgment and leave others to their reality or denial, whichever worked for them.
Many of us may know someone who continues to deny that a loved one is dying. 'Miracles happen, you know" is a frequent part of that. Undiagnosed symptoms send me right to the doctor. Denial of an illness can rob someone of the opportunity for cure. Whoever wrote: "Denial is not a river in Egypt" had the right take on it. Denial is real and harmful to the deniers and all those around them.
Denial is a defense mechanism in which a person is faced with a fact that is too painful to accept and rejects it instead, insisting that it is not true despite any overwhelming evidence to the contrary. It can work to 'save' people from unbearable painful facts, or it can cause great harm by lulling people when they should be taking action.
Lacking the denial gene was worse when I used to be compelled to tell people what I saw as the truth. Truth, I now know, is in the eyes of the believer. Telling people that which they are denying goes nowhere, but has frustrated me greatly in the past. When I learned to live in my own skin it became easier to ignore denial in other people. I learned to trust myself and my own judgment and leave others to their reality or denial, whichever worked for them.
Many of us may know someone who continues to deny that a loved one is dying. 'Miracles happen, you know" is a frequent part of that. Undiagnosed symptoms send me right to the doctor. Denial of an illness can rob someone of the opportunity for cure. Whoever wrote: "Denial is not a river in Egypt" had the right take on it. Denial is real and harmful to the deniers and all those around them.
No comments:
Post a Comment