BABY ON BOARD

A few years ago I used to see stickers on windows of cars, often in the rear window, that said Baby on Board. I could never figure out why people wanted to advertise that fact. Can you imagine the road conversations?

Trucker to Hitchhiker beside him: "Ga-awsh! Lookie there, they have a baby on board. I guess I'll have to careful not to hit them...wouldn't be so careful if it was only Parents on Board".

Hitchhiker: "Dunno, Bobby Joe, iffn t'was parents got hit, them babies left ta home'd be orphans! That'd be just durned bad for them little orphans."

****************************************

Dowager to driver: "Good Heavens, Heathford! This young generation shouldn't be allowed to have babies. They've got the poor thing on a board! Someone should report them immediately for cruelty to the child!"

****************************************

Poor man to his wife in car: "Look, Flossie, a baby on Board but it don't mention Room. D'ya think they're homeless?"

****************************************

Teen to his buddies in car: "Hey, Bro's, what part of the car do I aim for?"

****************************************

The concept of that sticker must be that some entrepreneur got smart, knowing there were lots of proud parents who really thought that no one would dare hit them if they had a sign on the car. Or, figured that, with the sign, people would slow down to get a look at the best looking baby in the world, produced by the drivers, of course.

I always wanted to put one of those Baby on Board stickers on one of those farm trucks that block the road, carrying a load of manure to the farm part down the road a bit. That should give the driver behind something to think about, especially if he had a couple of plastic diapers stuck on. NASCAR racers have so many stickers on their cars, I'll bet no one would notice Baby on Board among the rest.

I've always thought that any kind of sticker was a bit foolish except the one that says If You Can Read This, You're Too Damned Close. We Support the Troops should make everyone who doesn't, feel guilty. Just plain Support the Troops seems a bit pushy. But the one I think I like the most is the One Day at a Time sticker. You might as well just say it simply...Drive Cautiously; I'm an Alcoholic.