Today the world looks grim. It is raining and forecast to continue to rain all day with high winds and temperatures in the 40s. It is the middle of October and yesterday there were snow flurries. All that shouts that summer is over and winter not far has made itself clear. Inside the house, the furnace is unevenly heating the house as always. Hot and cold, alternating, as the forced hot air is never on long enough to heat the walls and furniture. The toilet seat is cold...the greatest insult to one's body imaginable!
When all the lights have to go on at noontime, the sense of dread drops over me like an umbrella caving in on me. World News only intensifies the sense of impending unpleasantness. Now the gloom is not only within but I am surrounded, as well, without. Snow flakes the size of quarters are falling against the greens, oranges, reds and yellows of the fall showing of leaves. It would be lovely if it weren't such an unwanted harbinger.
Then a realization surfaces. It is mid-October and my light box is still in the basement. Now I know why my body won't shed an ounce...it is grasping at every calorie ingested, to save it for hibernation in winter. Ever since a doctor told me I have vestigial tail bones at the end of my spine, I have known I am not as highly evolved as many around me. My S.A.D needs attention.
Never having been one to need to cry to rid myself of an excess of cortisol, I find a strange urge to weep creeping up on me. Another clue that I'd better get the light box beside me and on, especially on days like today. However, I need a surface on which to place the box to allow me benefit from the light. My bed is where I spend the greatest portion of my day. My computer is second, so it goes next to me there. Now all that is left is to clear a table to put it on...Oh, no!...I need a few days of the effects of the light to ready me to sort what to do with everything piled on the table since last winter...horrors!...how do I manage that one???? Eek!
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