WHAT'S NEXT IN THE QUEST FOR THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH?

Our society has fallen for companies that make products to make us look or smell better. Romance novels never have a woman tasting anything less than like honey and smelling anything less than roses...even when they write about 11th C Scotland and 19th C England. I've heard men talk about fishy smells in a woman though they seem not to know that musk, artificially applied, smells offensive to some.

We all lived through Michael Jackson's many plastic surgeries to the point he no longer had a nose. We have seen Joan Rivers joke that her face will crack if she laughs. Now we are into smells and appearance in parts the average public will never have in full view of anyone in this lifetime.

On January 30th, Andy Wright wrote an article titled: The 6 Weirdest Things Women Do to Their Vaginas.
He talks about the strangest demands the beauty industry makes for vaginal rejuvenation. Among the other things you do for yourself for ablutions, your feminine treasure box smells bad and needs a deodorant. Secondly, it is dirty. From Turkey: Douching is a common habit among Turkish women. Many women are not aware of the harmful effects of douching. Public health and health professionals should monitor more closely this traditional habit in Turkey. There are indications that it will lessen fertility but will not qualify as a contraceptive. Many doctors advise against it as it upsets the vaginal flora balance.

Next comes the complaint that plastic surgery is necessary because your vagina has become too loose. Do with that one what you will, ladies. Doctors in Atlanta decide whether your labia are "unequal," "elongated," "large," "irregular," "floppy," and "unfeminine." Goodness, how could Nature have given women unfeminine labia? Are there masculine labia or is the option neuter? Exactly what ARE unfeminine labia? Do they stick out like ears? That can't be, there is no cartilage there. What are the feminine features of labia? Whatever, these doctors will tell you if you need labiaplasty. Imagine them on "What's My Line"..."We make an ugly labia and make it beautiful."

The next problem is that your vagina tastes bad. (Guys parts don't because they don't touch them, only shake them off.) The solution is vagina mints. If you partner has fruit flavored condoms you might want to make sure your vagina mints will not clash with his condom flavor, right?

Lastly, "Your Vagina is the Wrong Color" Solution: Vaginal Bleaching and Dying. I guess that vagina color is bad. It must be hot pink. Wright writes: "Accomoclitic Laser and Wax Studio in Lakewood, Colorado, purveyors of an anal bleaching product called "Pink Wink," also sell something called Bleach Babe, a cream that promises to do away with the "natural discoloration surrounding the exterior of the vagina."

Do Cougars have to dye their public hair to match the dye on their head? These very critical questions clearly have not been given sufficient consideration by some of us of the feminine persuasion...that is we have not been persuaded enough to fork over good dollars for this nonsense. If you want to see Wright's whole article, click here. Considering that men may have their favorite blow-up doll, or a masturbator toy, one might guess that 'viewing' is not their favorite past time of choice over 'doing'. Ladies, keep in mind, even if you 'rejuvenate' you can still be replaced by a do-it-your-self hand-held.