WHAT DO PEOPLE MEAN WHEN THEY SAY RELATIONSHIP

As I have often written, I detest the concept of 'one-size-fits-all' and that goes for the generic term relationship as it gets so widely applied.  Most people think fo the definition as:  a state of connectedness between people (especially an emotional connection);  However, it also means something much less emotional, as:  a state involving mutual dealings between people or parties or countries.  It also implies kinship, as:  (anthropology) relatedness or connection by blood or marriage or adoption.  Thus, should be clear to anyone in any of those three situations that relationship is somewhat a ubiquitous word thrown out at almost any human connectedness.

What has been left out of those definitions is 'perception'. Just as beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so a relationship is defined by the person who fantasies it to be what is wished.  'New' emotional (love) which may be energy flowing from one side only. Relationships are like a picture puzzle with only a few pieces visible.  As the pieces are eventually seen, they often differ from the image's hoped-for pictures.  That is when the positive elements begin to get shaky.  In a marriage, divorce is brought up when people assume they can untangle themselves by amputating 'relationship'.  In diplomatic terms, when the relationship goes sour, war may result.  In family ties, relationships by blood are more difficult to sever.  We all know we cannot choose our relatives but we can choose our friends.  However, no one need tolerate intolerable relatives either, and, sad though it may be, families sometimes set boundaries and even physical distance which others in the family may not cross..

Other relationships,  'partnerships', for instance, as in the armed forces,  law enforcement, athletic teams, etc., where the relationship is based on trust, dependence, reliance, commonality of  the goal of survival or success, even of interests.  This is often as powerful as any relationship can get.  Best friends, as well, can be counted in such relationships and they are rarely without emotional commitment.

So we come to another word not usually mentioned in defining relationships and that is 'commitment'.  One can never promise to feel something, as feelings are beyond our control in such situations. However, 'actions', which are far more likely to be within our control, must also be inserted into the defining equation.

We must be vigilant to not accept simple definitions, even from dictionaries, as the be-all; end-all of last words.  I caution you, my readers, to look outside the box and see other layers of a situation that are not always visible to the naked eye or ear.  Trust yourself to question further as to what, exactly, something means...not in words, but in practice.  If we act a certain way, where will the action take us?  If no one notes it, the affect wil possibly be different than if the action is observed and has a reaction.  The depth of a relationship grows.as people know each other more completely and can trust one another more.

Even if one follows all the rules; is moral, full of integrity, honest, faithful, and everything good and lovable, it will not guarantee the other is being honest and seeks the same reward for it.  A basic law of humans if that all want to be loved and to be lovable.  These are the greatest anxieties we humans have amongst other humans.  Most all human imbalance in relationships when either of these two principles is challenged.