HOW AGE HAS EFFECTED MY THINKING

When young, believing I was next to immortal, I used to watch concert pianists and think, "I could do that."  In fact, I might have been able to do lots of things, but I never followed up on them with the kind of practice it takes to do things really well, professionally well.  As I watched Yang Yang Play in Avery Hall with the NY Philharmonic (on TV), I realized that I was enthralled and never once  thought , "I could do that."  I now know what I can do and what I will never do.  I also know I want to spend the rest of my life practicing those skills I've already learned.


TV held more interest when I was exhausted by my job and needed to  'veg' out.  I no longer need that as, admittedly, much of this was before computers became such a large part of my day. Sitting that long seems unnecessary to me.  In fact, sitcoms bore me as do most movies.  The awareness of time limit to my life becomes a real issue and I get too 'antsy' to hold still for boring stuff.  This includes spectator sports. emails with a spiritual message and flowery thoughts as well as all  boring conversations, in person or on phone..

Since I never had lessons on getting old, I am having to write a new script and am trying to figure out how  it will run.  Needs and body have changed..  My cranium CPU has had its last upgrade.  Data storage sill have to be in an external drive..  Retrieval of names of people and things.


has slowed.  Yet I am forever learning and enjoy every minute of it.  However, being told what I should think or believe is not a learning experience for me.  I try to avoid religious discussions about after-life because I feel sadness for the people who think 'their life will improve after death'.  'Life after death' has an oxymoron quality to it.

Instead, I live every day to its fullest available to me and when I have the urge to do the physical things I used to do, I pick up a book and read until the urge passes..  I laugh a lot, interact with lots of people and recall my deceased mother-in-law who had to have a daily 'event' .  I guess I think of life that way, too.  My event, however, may be at home and consist of a job done, a repair completed, or a comforting book read.  I've faced the reality that to be happy when old is not a replacement of things you can do and like for the things you used to be able to do and those you had to do but didn't like.