ON A BOARD

When a few people get together, we call it a group. When the business is overseeing something, we call it a Board. (substitute 'bored' for the dull ones). Strange behavior is seen when people in the group see themselves as having power. This is not to be confused with the adage 'strength in numbers'. This is the powerless misinterpreting that the numbers have to be in agreement.

Non-voting members often have power through job title. Appointed peons can vote so often find the opportunity to flex their vocal muscle to full power. Watching someone pull an insignificant point through everyone's lower sphincter in such an exercise is unpleasant for those who recognize their time wasted on this irrelevant exercise.

Clearly few have read the material sent to them prior to the meeting. Thus, those who diligently did their homework are forced to listen to everything being repeated for all those who had to start from square one, the same people who ask for all the minutia. Then much of it has to be repeated for those who didn't listen because they were busy looking through their piles of material sent but not-read...because somehow reading it as it was being reviewed orally was necessary to fully comprehend it.

Everyone joining such a group adds to the torturous mass, and the time that gets wasted is exponential to the number of bodies present. More comments, questions, and repetitions make the meeting longer. It should be noted that the room temperature is never stable nor within majority comfort limits. Menopausal women usually find it too hot; women who are not, find it too cool; overweight men find it overly warm after the work out of getting there, and others open and close windows or turn air conditioners and outside air fans on and off. This keeps the movers awake longer.

Generally, the task-oriented atmosphere forbids levity. Since such grim ambiance challenges me, I push pun and sarcasm buttons. When I get someone to laugh, they usually look guiltily at the chairperson, expecting a reprimand. If one is a volunteer in the group (people masochistic enough to offer themselves for community service are difficult to attract to the job) a special position is enjoyed. No income will be lost if you get asked to leave. I smile innocently, as though I didn't know my comment wasn't in all seriousness but was really a double entendre which some poor soul caught.

Rocking the boat is my way of staying awake through boredom. Some take a shortcut and simply fall asleep in their chairs, waking up to pretend that they were just resting their eyes, but listening. Some doodle and are clearly somewhere else in their heads.

If the group has less important work to fulfill and people attending are not on a payroll, then rocking the boat is risk free, more or less. Then, my goal is to have a good time and usually draw others into the venture. In one such group, the joy was pulling everyone into having a good time until the chairperson was close to being over-the-top-annoyed. At this point we would all focus on her with serious faces, hear her out quickly, before resuming our fun. That Board's task was to work out monthly programs and presenters. Now this group meets without the necessity for work. We just have fun! Fun Board is an oxymoron unless you change the culture.