For more than six decades, I have taught and lived by this rule. Do not worry about anything over which you have no control.
It hadn't really occurred to me that some people do not know how to shut worry down because their body feels anxious and they obsess on their worry. There are some critical questions one must ask to be free of that worry.
First: Is there something I can do to change the outcome? For example, after WW2 many worried about Russia using an atomic bomb on us here in the USA. Asking whether there was something I could do to influence this outcome, I reasoned that the only thing I could do was use my one vote in any presidential election we had to choose the person I thought to be most effective in foreign policy. My influence stopped there.
Second: If the worst of my fears was realized what,m if anything, could I do about it. In this case, I could not build a bomb shelter for myself no avoid radiation if it was outside the shelter. Since the answer was I was helpless to change the risk, I would not worry about it. If a bomb fell, it was likely I would be dead along with anyone else around me.
However, there were many things in my life at the time about which I had to make choices for myself. What career would I choose; how hard I would work at it, how would I choose friends, how would I handle things abhorrent to me, and on and on were the choices I would be avoiding while concentrating on something on which I could effect no change.
I believe that many people worry because their body is cuing them with anxiety and the obsess on whatever was in their mind at the time. They do not ask themselves the question they need to ask to focus on those things in their life they need to answer because they are overwhelmed by what they see as complexity beyond their ability to make choices. In that case, they must take all their 'worries' one at a time and sort them as to whether they can effect any change by their own actions.
Another example: You have not enough money to pay the bills you have. Do not worry about the future, tackle the present. Do you have enough to pay a little to each creditor? Contact each and let them know your situation and what they may expect. If you can, pay any one of them in full to avoid service charges and interest, Do you have other sources of income? Is there something you can sell do for anyone for which they might pay you? What skills and resources do you have? Believe me, your 'worry' is far better spent on trying to figure what you can do than bemoaning what you can't do.
It hadn't really occurred to me that some people do not know how to shut worry down because their body feels anxious and they obsess on their worry. There are some critical questions one must ask to be free of that worry.
First: Is there something I can do to change the outcome? For example, after WW2 many worried about Russia using an atomic bomb on us here in the USA. Asking whether there was something I could do to influence this outcome, I reasoned that the only thing I could do was use my one vote in any presidential election we had to choose the person I thought to be most effective in foreign policy. My influence stopped there.
Second: If the worst of my fears was realized what,m if anything, could I do about it. In this case, I could not build a bomb shelter for myself no avoid radiation if it was outside the shelter. Since the answer was I was helpless to change the risk, I would not worry about it. If a bomb fell, it was likely I would be dead along with anyone else around me.
However, there were many things in my life at the time about which I had to make choices for myself. What career would I choose; how hard I would work at it, how would I choose friends, how would I handle things abhorrent to me, and on and on were the choices I would be avoiding while concentrating on something on which I could effect no change.I believe that many people worry because their body is cuing them with anxiety and the obsess on whatever was in their mind at the time. They do not ask themselves the question they need to ask to focus on those things in their life they need to answer because they are overwhelmed by what they see as complexity beyond their ability to make choices. In that case, they must take all their 'worries' one at a time and sort them as to whether they can effect any change by their own actions.
Another example: You have not enough money to pay the bills you have. Do not worry about the future, tackle the present. Do you have enough to pay a little to each creditor? Contact each and let them know your situation and what they may expect. If you can, pay any one of them in full to avoid service charges and interest, Do you have other sources of income? Is there something you can sell do for anyone for which they might pay you? What skills and resources do you have? Believe me, your 'worry' is far better spent on trying to figure what you can do than bemoaning what you can't do.
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