Too many people seem to have too permeable, personal boundaries. They take on the problems of others and try to make choices for them. Out with a friend for lunch to a p[lace new to me, she knew everything on the menu and was going to tell me what to eat. As she read the menu, she gave a running critique of almost everything on it. She had tried most all dishes.. We were in a Thai restaurant but things looked different than the choices with which I was familiar. I rather like a bit of spice and heat and look for the number pf red peppers beside the description on the menu. My friend advised that I should not even go above mild as even that was hot. She ordered her meal and I ordered mine, telling the waitress (who didn't seem to understand too much English) that I didn't want sweet (Bel)l, peppers but hot were fine. This took a while to make clear. I actually received exactly that for which I asked. My friend had to ask for a taste of my food.
Have you known the people who talk to a sad friend and spend the rest of the day figuring out how to solve the stated problem, naturally having only a small portion of the facts. There are those who freely offer advice, unsolicited, and then are offended when it is not followed. Others are brought to depression because they can't stop thinking of the sad tale told by a friend about a situation of distress.
I've never been sure how one gets to be objective. As a therapist for over 60 years, I'm not sure whether I was trained or whether it just came naturally. I've always known the difference between the pain of another and empathy (when you can understand the other's experience and even their pain but know that it is not your own. Don't tell someone they should leave their spouse, let their aged parent live on machines, live by the Bible or not, or anything that is not a choice for your own person. . The Indian who said, "You cannot know a man without walking a mile in his moccasins" was correct to a point. You can never totally know another as you might \get to know yourself. Never assume that what is right for you is right for someone else.:
It is tough enough to live your own life without trying to live that of another! So why do so many people try to live in someone else's skin? Here is a tutorial I found on the subject you find of interest if you need to think more critically about your own boundaries.
Have you known the people who talk to a sad friend and spend the rest of the day figuring out how to solve the stated problem, naturally having only a small portion of the facts. There are those who freely offer advice, unsolicited, and then are offended when it is not followed. Others are brought to depression because they can't stop thinking of the sad tale told by a friend about a situation of distress.
I've never been sure how one gets to be objective. As a therapist for over 60 years, I'm not sure whether I was trained or whether it just came naturally. I've always known the difference between the pain of another and empathy (when you can understand the other's experience and even their pain but know that it is not your own. Don't tell someone they should leave their spouse, let their aged parent live on machines, live by the Bible or not, or anything that is not a choice for your own person. . The Indian who said, "You cannot know a man without walking a mile in his moccasins" was correct to a point. You can never totally know another as you might \get to know yourself. Never assume that what is right for you is right for someone else.:
It is tough enough to live your own life without trying to live that of another! So why do so many people try to live in someone else's skin? Here is a tutorial I found on the subject you find of interest if you need to think more critically about your own boundaries.
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